@Savage Almond @Friendly Kelbeam of the Hood @Ganimes @Nizaluddin @TitanoReborn @Deltadromeus445-2 @Harpy Eagle Enthusiast
Christmas special pog
We see Darth Iguanacolossus sitting on a rock. He’s thinking about what to do now until he remembers that it’s Darthing time.
Darth Iguanacolossus: I’m gonna do a Darth Iguanacolossus amount of trolling
He proceeds to Darth all over the Jurassic Period until he finds a random portal in the ground. Suddenly, a Jeholosaurus, Velociraptor osmolskae, and Tianzhenosaurus jump out of the portal.
Darth Iguanacolossus: Ummm…hello?
Osmolskae: Is this where the facility is?
Darth Iguanacolossus: What facility? We’re in the Jurassic Period.
Osmolskae: GUH?!
Tianzhenosaurus: We’re supposed to be at an underground facility! We’re supposed to stop some sort of danger heading to Tyrantia!
Darth Iguanacolossus: Ohh, I’ve heard of them! You must be looking for the Anti-Tyrantia Association! Apparently they’re led by one of the Tyrant Council’s henchmen, but I don’t know too much about that.
Osmolskae: Well, do you know where the Association is?
Darth Iguanacolossus: Last I heard, they were in this whole other dimension that only they know how to get to. I’m actually looking for them myself, so maybe we could team up!
This whole time, Jeholosaurus couldn’t shake the feeling that something wasn’t right about Darth Iguanacolossus. He then noticed a devious-looking lightsaber on the iguanodontid’s robe, and then realized that the robe in question was black (no way).
Jeholosaurus: Hey buddy…are you a Force user?
Darth Iguanacolossus: Yeah…why?
Osmolskae: Jeholo, you don’t think…
Jeholosaurus: You’re a Sithnapsid!
Jeholosaurus ignites his lightsaber and ushers Osmolskae and Tianzhenosaurus behind them. This catches Darth Iguanacolossus off-guard.
Darth Iguanacolossus: Oh…you’re a Jedisaur, aren’t you? That’s really a shame, because here I was thinking that we could be friends.
Jeholosaurus: We can’t. How am I supposed to know you won’t betray us when you get the chance?
Darth Iguanacolossus: Because I’m not like other Sithnapsids fr fr
Osmolskae: You know, he hasn’t ignited his lightsaber yet. Maybe we should-
Jeholosaurus: No. We’ve had our fair share of Sithnapsid bullshit with that kid, we don’t-
Darth Iguanacolossus ignites his lightsaber.
Darth Iguanacolossus: You know, ever since you started yapping, I lost hope in our little deal. You made me do this.
Jeholosaurus: Yapping?
Ok, so for context, since this is the main timeline and not Savage Almond’s ̶i̶n̶f̶i̶n̶i̶t̶e̶l̶y̶ ̶b̶e̶t̶t̶e̶r̶ timeline, that means that there’s another JVT and another Anti-Tyrantia Association (but not another Tightasses or Thug Hunters or anything else, I’m too lazy to deal with that shit), and the entire reason this plotline with Darth Iguanacolossus exists (besides to reintroduce him for The Tyrantian Extinction) is so they can get killed off. So yeah, you already know what’s in store.
Fight Music:
Jeholosaurus charges at Darth Iguanacolossus and swings his lightsaber vertically, but the Sithnapsid dodges it before deflecting another strike. He then uses the Force to launch Jeholosaurus into a tree. He then focuses his attention on Osmolskae and Tianzhenosaurus.
Darth Iguanacolossus: It’s a shame that your friend had to start this fight. However, I am a merciful overlord, and as such, I’m willing to-
Tianzhenosaurus: Shut up nerd
Tianzhenosaurus charges at the Sithnapsid at full speed and ram into his ribcage, shattering it. Iguanacolossus recovers and screams in a fit of rage before charging at Tianzhenosaurus. The dubious ankylosaur swings his tail, but feels a sudden surge of pain. He looks at his tail, only to see that it’s been severed.
Darth Iguanacolossus: Not so tough now, huh?
Osmolskae: You won’t get away with this!
Osmolskae stares directly into the eyes of Iguanacolossus as he slices into his own arm. As Tianzhenosaurus gets far enough away, a yellow bolt of lightning strikes the dromaeosaurid, and he undergoes an ebik transformation sequence, until the dust settles and the Sithnapsid sees his Colossal Titan form.
Darth Iguanacolossus: Oh shit.
Jeholosaurus: “Oh shit” is right! Feast your eyes on the Colossal Titan!
Darth Iguanacolossus: No.
Osmolskae reaches down and grabs Iguanacolossus, but his claws are quickly severed by the Sithnapsid, who falls to the ground. Jeholosaurus takes the opportunity to attack him, but Iguanacolossus kicks him in the stomach hard. Jeholosaurus spits out blood as Iguanacolossus rolls away from Osmolskae’s attempt to stomp on him. He then notices Tianzhenosaurus charging back into the fight, so he gets up and runs toward the ankylosaurid.
Jeholosaurus: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tianzhenosaurus stops in his tracks and tries to turn around, but it’s too late. Iguanacolossus slices him in half.
Osmolskae: *in his titan* That bastard!
Jeholosaurus: Alas, poor Tianzheno…you weren’t with us for long, but you were still a good man. That damn Sithnapsid will pay for this.
Jeholosaurus jumps up and prepares to bifurcate Iguanacolossus, but he sidesteps the attack and punches Jeholosaurus in the face, sending him stumbling back. He doesn’t get much time to recover, as the Sithnapsid uses the Force to snap his neck.
Osmolskae: *in his titan* NO!
Darth Iguanacolossus: Don’t you see, foolish dromaeosaurid? Don’t you see the TRUE power of the Dark Side?! Don’t you see what happens when you turn ME into your latest enemy?!
Osmolskae roars in anger before running towards Iguanacolossus, but the Sithnapsid stops him in his tracks with the Force.
Darth Iguanacolossus: I happen. As I have happened before, except this time…with the Revive Machine giving me one final chance at life…I am a real Sithnapsid now. Not some impostor. Not some nobody. And whoever this henchman is, whoever works under him…they don’t stand a chance.
He raises his other hand and uses it to rip open the Colossal Titan’s nape. He then pulls Osmolskae out before slamming him on the ground.
Darth Iguanacolossus: Any last words?
Osmolskae: *coughs* I hope the Association fucks you up.
Darth Iguanacolossus: *laughs* Oh, they will try. But I’m the one who fucks people…up.
He calmly walks over to Osmolskae, who has already accepted his fate. Darth Iguanacolossus then raises his lightsaber, and then swings it down.
Osmolskae is dead.
The trio of JVT are all dead.
Darth Iguanacolossus sees that the portal is still open, so he quickly jumps in. He then hops back out…on Tyrantia.
In front of Mega Mogus.
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Meanwhile, the Tyrant Council overlooks the colosseum in which Triassic Dinosaurs Spin Wheel Battles took place. Mimikyutube grabs the mic and begins yapping.
Mimikyutube: Merry Christmas, everybody! As a present for all of you wonderful audience members, who have come here from…I guess a part of Tyrantia that’s inhabited by people, I figured I’d give you Jurassic Dinosaurs Spin Wheel Battles!
The audience cheers and claps.
Mimikyutube: Our contestants are:
Allosaurus fragilis
Allosaurus europaeus
Allosaurus jimmadseni
Saurophaganax
Compsognathus
Dilophosaurus
Torvosaurus tanneri
Torvosaurus gurneyi
Ceratosaurus
Diplodocus longus
Diplodocus carnegii
Diplodocus hallorum
Brontosaurus excelsus
Brontosaurus parvus
Brontosaurus yahnahpin
Apatosaurus louisae
Apatosaurus ajax
Brachiosaurus
Giraffatitan
Supersaurus
Shunosaurus
Stegosaurus stenops
Stegosaurus ungulatus
Stegosaurus sulcatus
Huayangosaurus
Tuojiangosaurus
Kentrosaurus
Hesperosaurus
Laosaurus
Lamplughsaura
Mimikyutube: Without further ado, let’s begin!
Battle Music:
To start, Supersaurus didn’t stick out his gyatt for the rizzler, so Brontosaurus excelsus stuck an arrow into his head.
Brontosaurus parvus ran Allosaurus fragilis’s fade 🔥🔥🔥
Ceratosaurus may have been thuggin’, but Lamplughsaura was ballin’ 💯
Compsognathus snapped Giraffatitan’s limbs, then he ripped off his tail, and finally, he grabbed a tree branch and bludgeoned the sauropod to death.
Kentrosaurus was reading War on Tyrantia Season 2 Episode 3 when he got to a specific part.
Kentrosaurus: HE’S DEAD?! FUCK THIS SHIT I’M OUT
And so the stegosaurid burst into flames and burned to a crisp.
Laosaurus: Blud never got to Episode 10 😔😔
Apatosaurus ajax tail-whipped Compsognathus into space.
Compsognathus: I CAN SEE MY HOUSE FROM HERE-
He then proceeded to crash on Tyrantia’s Moon and die on impact.
Dilophosaurus was knocked down and squished under Brontosaurus parvus’s foot.
Diplodocus hallorum faded Tuojiangosaurus’s run 🥶🥶🥶
Mimikyutube: Damn it, I was hoping he’d win!
Nizaluddin: At least Lamplughsaura stays ballin’ 💯
Saurophaganax: Jesus, this is brutal. Imagine if there were more of these tournaments.
Brontosaurus yahnahpin: Agreed, this has been a pretty…Violent Night.
Saurophaganax: Wait is that a referen-
Brontosaurus yahnahpin pulls an icicle out of his ass 🤨 and stabs Saurophaganax in the neck.
Mimikyutube: God damn it, two in a row?!
Kelbeam: Looks like Brontosaurus yahnahpin is…the Mean One.
Savage Almond: WE STEALIN’ CHRISTMAS WITH THIS ONE 🥶🗣💯🥶🗣💯
Huayangosaurus stabs Diplodocus longus in the side with his thagomizers.
Diplodocus longus: ‘Fraid you’re gonna have to do better than that, lil’ boy.
Huayangosaurus: It’s my Cake Day btw
Diplodocus longus: Guh-
Huayangosaurus throws Diplodocus longus into space, where he dies from lack of oxygen.
Huayangosaurus: Ill skissue
Brontosaurus yahnahpin couldn’t handle the Apatosaurus ajax style.
Mimikyutube: Of course this type of kill has to return!
Titanosaurus80: That was a very 2021 type of kill tbh
M: Nut ron
Allosaurus jimmadseni found a loaded rocket launcher on the ground and used to to blow Stegosaurus sulcatus 😏 to bits.
Brachiosaurus: You can’t defeat me, Laosaurus! I don’t have much, but I’ve GYAT something in my-
Laosaurus:
Gyatt
I was in Ohio before I met you
I rizzed too much and that’s an issue
But I’m grimace sha-
Brachiosaurus instantaneously combusts, splattering blood and organs everywhere.
Laosaurus: Another day, another victory for the OGs.
Apatosaurus ajax did this to Brontosaurus excelsus with a tree he ripped out of the ground:
(5:42)
Brontosaurus parvus wasn’t pardoned by Hesperosaurus (he was not, in fact, a turkey).
Stegosaurus stenops Rocket Jumped to Apatosaurus louisae and stabbed in the head with his thagomizer as he was landing back on the ground.
Saurio the Spinowing: Bro think he TF2 Soldier
Palaeontologica: Tf2 mercs tick tock
Deltadromeus445: You fool, this is MY Team Fortress 2!
Stegosaurus stenops then attempted to kill Apatosaurus ajax, who was right behind him, but the sauropod grabbed his tail as he was swinging it at him and ripped it off. He then chucked it at the stegosaurid’s head, and one of the thagomizers lodged itself in his skull, killing him.
Apatosaurus ajax: I got a little silly there
Laosaurus whipped out his dha and impaled Allosaurus jimmadseni.
Diplodocus hallorum was the leader of a gang that raided many small towns and villages, and one of those villages was Lamplughsaura’s. Many years later, the sauropodomorph confronted Diplodocus hallorum in this very colosseum. Their fight was brutal, with plenty of blood spilt, but Lamplughsaura finally ended it by shoving an unpinned grenade down the gang leader’s throat. He then epicly walked away as Diplodocus hallorum exploded from the inside, ending this madness.
Nizaluddin: Why do I feel like I’ve seen this before?
Savage Almond: Colosseum Ballin’ Royale
Nizaluddin: Wha-I mean in like a movie!
As the last Stegosaurus species remaining, Stegosaurus ungulatus promised to win for his entire genus. He began his crusade for victory by knocking down Torvosaurus gurneyi and trampling him until he was dead.
Savage Almond: Shit! Well, hopefully Torvosaurus tanneri can pull the #1 Victory Royale.
Diplodocus carnegii was a part of Diplodocus hallorum’s gang, and easily the member with the most bloodlust. However, he didn’t realize that what he should’ve been lusting after was some bitches, and Allosaurus europaeus told him so.
This was how he reacted:
Apatosaurus ajax used his tail to grab Hesperosaurus by the neck, and he tightened his grip enough to where the stegosaurid could no longer breathe. He very quickly died of lack of oxygen.
Mimikyutube:...I just can’t win, can I?
Huayangosaurus was pushed on his side by Stegosaurus ungulatus. Unable to get up, all he could do was sit there helplessly as the Stegosaurus species stabbed him repeatedly with his thagomizers, finishing the job by stabbing him in the temple.
Lamplughsaura had completely lost it at his point, and so he threw another grenade at Laosaurus, blowing him 😳 up.
Apatosaurus ajax’s kill streak has finally come to an end, as Stegosaurus ungulatus stabbed him in the neck repeatedly with his thagomizers.
Mimikyutube: Alright, gamers, we’re down to our Final 5, and they are:
Allosaurus europaeus
Torvosaurus tanneri
Shunosaurus
Stegosaurus ungulatus
Lamplughsaura
Let’s see who will win!
Shunosaurus, who hasn’t done shit in this entire tournament, had his eyes stabbed out by Stegosaurus ungulatus, who HAS done shit in this entire tournament (Shunosaurus then bled out btw).
Torvosaurus tanneri, another contestant who hasn’t done anything, thankfully had better luck than Shunosaurus, as he caught Allosaurus europaeus off-guard and snapped his neck.
Lamplughsaura suddenly ambushed Torvosaurus tanneri, but he quickly figured out he was fighting an uphill battle and took his own life with a grenade, and the explosion sent Torvosaurus tanneri flying.
Nizaluddin: NOOOOOOO NOT LAMPLUGHSAURA
Stegosaurus ungulatus was running towards where Torvosaurus tanneri was, only to see him flying above him. He turned around and chased after the theropod, who crashed on the ground.
He quickly got up, though, and prepared to face off against the last remaining Stegosaur species.
Mimikyutube: It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for, folks! Stegosaurus ungulatus vs. Torvosaurus tanneri! Who do you think will win? There’s only one way to find out! DUKE IT OUT!
The stegosaurid and megalosaurine stared each other down for a minute, as the audience chanted at them to duke it out. As their chanting grew louder, Torvosaurus tanneri had an idea.
Torvosaurus tanneri: Hey…maybe we shouldn’t fight.
Stegosaurus ungulatus: Why not? I want to win for my fallen brethren, and winning is the only way we can go home!
Torvosaurus tanneri: Yeah…but I don’t think you’re my true enemy, and I also don’t think I’m yours either. I believe the battle we should be fighting…
He looks up at the viewing chamber, startling the Tyrants.
Torvosaurus tanneri:...is against those guys!
Stegosaurus ungulatus looks up at the viewing chamber as well, but unbeknownst to him, a devious grin is spreading across Torvosaurus tanneri’s face.
Stegosaurus ungulatus: Well, I wouldn’t-
Suddenly, Torvosaurus tanneri attempts to bite Stegosaurus ungulatus’s neck, but the herbivore dodges just in time. The theropod goes for the neck again, but receives a thagomizer in the skull.
Torvosaurus tanneri: Almost…had you…
Torvosaurus tanneri keels over and dies.
Stegosaurus ungulatus: The most devious lick
Mimikyutube: AND THE WINNER OF JURASSIC DINOSAURS SPIN WHEEL BATTLES IS…STEGOSAURUS UNGULATUS!
Savage Almond: Of fucking course he's the runner-up.
A portal appears, and Stegosaurus ungulatus walks through it. To his surprise, he finds himself in the Cretaceous period.
Stegosaurus ungulatus: Th’fuck?!
Back in the viewing chamber…
Mimikyutube: The most devious lick indeed.
Kelbeam: Wait, why did you send him home?
Mimikyutube: I didn’t, I sent him to the Cretaceous.
Kelbeam: Why?
Mimikyutube: Because it was funny, and if he survives, then maybe he’ll come back!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, Darth Iguanacolossus walks up to Mega Mogus. He’s quickly spotted by a guard.
Guard: Hey, you!
Darth Iguanacolossus: Howdy.
Guard: You aren’t supposed to be here!
Darth Iguanacolossus: Erm, ackshually, I am.
Guard: 🧢
Darth Iguanacolossus: I’m a new recruit for the Association, my name is Admiral AAAAAAA, and I-
Guard: 🧢
Darth Iguanacolossus: Well, if you’re not gonna listen to reason…
Darth Iguanacolossus ignites his lightsaber and de🧢itates the guard.
Darth Iguanacolossus: Family guy funny moments part 73011
He slices through both walls and kills 290 titan shifters, along with Yuxisaurus, Chinkankousaurus, and Duriavenator. Everyone else realizes they’re fucked and surrender.
Darth Iguanacolossus: Who’s in charge here?
Random Soldier: S-Susar Mogustus!
Darth Iguanacolossus: And where is he?
???: Right here!
Susar Mogustus jumps down with the intent to land on Darth Iguanacolossus, but the Sithnapsid jumps out of the way.
Susar Mogustus: I heard you murdered most of Mega Mogus’s defenses! You’re quite a strong fellow.
Darth Iguanacolossus: You have no idea. Also where were you when I slaughtered those 3 assholes who were in charge?
Susar Mogustus: I was playing the new Sex DLC.
Darth Iguanacolossus: Really? I don’t think there’s a single-player mode in that game.
Susar Mogustus: Wha–FUCK YOU!
Susar prepares to transform into his Colossal Titan, but the Sithnapsid holds him in place with the Force.
Susar Mogustus: Impossible…how are you that strong?!
Darth Iguanacolossus: Haven’t you read War on Tyrantia Season 2 Episode 3: Despair of the FROGGES?
Susar Mogustus: Huh?!
Darth Iguanacolossus: If you had, you’d know that the Dark Side of the Force…is more powerful than you know. And I’m about to give you a demonstration.
Susar Mogustus: WAIT NO-
Darth Iguanacolossus ignites his lightsaber and pulls Susar into it with the Force, impaling him. He then swings the lightsaber up, Jason Goes To Hell-ing him. Finally, he slices off both sides of the second-in-command’s head.
Random Soldier: Holy shit…
Darth Iguanacolossus: Now, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to call in reinforcements.
Random Soldier: Why-
Darth Iguanacolossus: NOW.
The soldier immediately makes a call, as Darth Iguanacolossus stares him down, and the other soldiers in the background watch.
Darth Iguanacolossus: And don’t try anything. I can have you killed faster than the speed of sound, and if they hear your death, they’ll send in reinforcements anyway.
Random Soldier: O-ok…
The soldier hears someone answer the call.
???: Hello?
Random Soldier: We have a situation on Mega Mogus! Please send in reinforcements!
???: What’s going on?
Random Soldier: There’s a guy with a red blade killing everyone! We need help!
???: On it. Reinforcements will be here soon.
Random Soldier: Thank you!
The voice hangs up, and Darth Iguanacolossus smiles.
Darth Iguanacolossus: Good job, soldier…maybe I’ll let the rest of you live if this goes well.
To be continued in Cretaceous Dinosaurs Spin Wheel Battles!
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