@Rexyisdebest @TotallynotaHellionWarden @Cooner21 @Nizaluddin
I'll only be listing VERY specific, interesting things that happen during my work week. And of course, I'm going to be leaving out Saturday as that is my day off. That is all.
Sunday
Got in my car, drove to prehistoric place (which was only 35 minutes away) and arrived at the entry gate. I was given my employee ID card and headed to the ticket booth. Here I saw a guard who looked like he was a walking arsenal all in himself, he was even carrying a protoceratops. There was a janitor who all the other staff members were acting like he told a really bad joke. I entered in my ID and went on through. I was about to go and walk around when a GUY IN A GAS MASK BUMPED INTO ME.
Guy: Hello!
Me: GAH WHAT THE FUCK.
Jacob: I'm Jacob! The founder and CEO of P.P! Your Bill, am I right?
Me: Yep, I'm the guy.
Jacob: I assume you want to know what your assigned to?
Me: Yep, what critter?
Jacob: You mean what critters?
Me: Uh oh.
Jacob: To many staff have been quitting, and we have to assign caretakers to three creatures at a time now.
Me: Which ones...
Jacob: Lets see... Smilodon...
Me: Good, I have experience with big cats.
Jacob: Gigantoraptor...
The fear starts building.
Jacob: And Thanatosdrakon!
Fear reaches peak.
Me: PLEASE DON'T MAKE DO THIS!
Jacob: Sorry man. And also, your guide is here!
All the sudden, a man with black hair, a suit, and a smiling ankylo sticker walked around the corner seemingly in a rush.
Me: You good?
John: Yes, I'm fine. Now let's get our asses moving.
Me: Uh... Bye Jacob.
Jacob: Adios!
We walked around the Asia enclosure where I saw a morbidly obese, yet somehow drippy man literally playing catch with the Gigantopithecus using a mango. I also saw a man with a tan vest and a tattoo reading, "AFGHANISTAN" on his arm playing fetch with the dromaeosaurus’ using a mouse.
After a bit, I heard some screeching coming from a mountain aviary.
Me: What's that?
John: The pterosaurs you were unlucky enough to get assigned to. Got moved from the south America area because of the aggression the flock put off on the other creatures.
Me: (I'm going to die, aren't I?)
After walking around for a bit, I saw an aquarium with a huge crowd around it.
Me: John, the fuck's going on?
John: Oh! We have a... careless visitor.
Me: The hell you mean?
I looked around and saw exactly what he meant. There was some guy with an eyepatch feeding some sort of pliosaur.
Me: Should we check it out?
John: (sigh) if you want to I guess...
We looked at the guy closer and noticed the security guard that looked he was a goddamn walking armory himself.
Guest: I got it!
Guard: No you don't you fool! You toss the food midair, THEN the Luskhan will catch it!
Me: Should we... help?
John: I don't think we want to get in Colton's way, that man gives off the same aura as an Apache attack helicopter.
All of a sudden, some guy in the crowd snatches a lady's purse and tries to run off with it. And all I here is:
Colton: BREAK HIS SHINS LARRY!
All of the sudden, that protoceratops jumped out Colton's hands and completely breaks the guy's legs.
Me and everyone's faces (besides colt): 0_0
Colton: Good boy Larry!
Me: The fuck was that?
Colton: Ahh! The new caretaker! Bill, Isn't it?
Me: Yep, that's me.
Colton: Watcha get assigned to?
Me: Gigantoraptor: Thanatosdrakon and Smilodon.
Colton: Yikes...
Me: Yep.
Guest: HELLO THERE!
Me and John: (Screaming out of shock)
Me: (angrily) AND YOU ARE?
Sharpeye: I'm Damien vision! But you call me Sharpeye.
Me: Ok so... is that a baryonyx tooth on your necklace?
Sharpeye: Nope, it's a suchomimus tooth.
Me: Ok-
Sharpeye: Want to feed the luskhan?
Me: Uh... sure.
I didn't have much to do with my time, so I picked up some fish from the food crate, tossed it in and sure enough, one of the luskhan made a great leap and caught the fish midair.
Colton: Told you
Sharpeye: (angy)
I actually saw a mother Luskhan playing with her young, and I never realized just how cute the parent-child dynamic between animals was until I saw that mother and her children playing.
Me: (Dramatically) I'll now take my leave!
The crowed loved my dramatic exit, and I felt some pride for coming up with it. After that I went to see how bad the Caretaker bunkrooms were. They couldn't be that bad, could they?
Me: Wow, Bryan was not kidding this shit is awful!
John: It isn't like this for the scientist's! Did you know-
Tattoo guy: (Slugs john in arm) STOP BRAGGING!
Hellion: Names patrick! But you call me Hellion!
Me: Greetings! Names bill.
Hellion: I'm the dromaeosaurus’ caretaker!
Me: Wait, you only take care of ONE creature?
Hellion: Yup! Got me a promotion!
Me: I need to get a damn promotion, fast.
Got dinner, which was simply burgers and fries. It was pretty ok by corporation standards. After that I went to bed in my disgusting, musty smellin' bed. My first TRUE shift starts tomorrow, so no more wanderin' around the park for me I guess.