@Savage Almond @Friendly Kelbeam of the Hood @Interstellar Voyager @Ganimes @Harpy Eagle Enthusiast @Naganadel King of the Stars @ZeldaPro97 @ScaryLookinHobo @Man with no name or life @Ankysareawesome @LynxSoott @BaryonyxLover9870 @TitanoReborn @EpicThoradolosaur7782
(decided to take a quick break from Ophiacodon Anecdotes to put this together, I hope you all feel jolly after reading it)
The year is 2023. Sometime after the Mesozoic Spin Wheel Battles Saga, but preceding Kelbeam’s Ultimate SWB, is a glorious winter afternoon in Tyrantia. The Tyrants’ colosseums are covered in decorations, no doubt put up by their henchmen. In general, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, regardless of the fact that only the Glacial Plains of Tyrantia has any snow at all.
We cut to one colosseum in particular, with its spectator stands filled to the brim with excited audience members. Funny, isn’t it, how despite the Tyrants relying on a single gimmick throughout their careers, there was always a crowd that absolutely couldn’t get enough of it? They would, of course, remain that way, up until the very end. Is man’s desire for bloodshed truly that powerful? Or perhaps, due to the date the tournament was taking place, they were feeling especially…jolly? Who knows?
Though the Tyrants did not always remember it, they would not have any of their influence, their notoriety, without their loyal audience. As for their physical power…again, who knows?
We cut from the audience members to the viewing chamber, where all 10 Tyrants are, as usual, overseeing the cheering crowd, as well as the arena, which is currently devoid of combatants. That would soon change, naturally, though something about this tournament was…different.
Titanosaurus80: Mimik, are you SURE about this one?
Mimikyutube: Of course I am. It’s Christmas! The most wonderful time of year! Why shouldn’t we try something a little different?
Deltadromeus445: Christmas! Just a week away!
Harpy Eagle Enthusiast: Ehrm ackshually Christmas is today, please try to pay attention to the date next time Delta 🤓👆
Concaventor Wrangler: This but unironically.
Titanosaurus80: Well, my problem is that I won’t be getting to see the contestants die horribly this time! You all know that’s my favorite part of these tournaments!
Nizaluddin: Titano, with all due respect, please think about keeping your bloodlust to yourself in times like this. With the Mutineers and Gracilists both plotting against us, that should be where your love of violence and the snuffing out of life goes to.
Mimikyutube: Yeah, that!
Kelbeam: Uh, fellas, are we forgetting that I’M the leader of the Tyrant Coun–
M: Yeah we remember just fine, now get back to work on the Ultimate SWB Optwinus Prime
Kelbeam proceeds to go into a fetal position at the sound of that tournament’s name (its time will come soon).
Palaeontologica: Well, I for one am pretty excited for this tournament!
Titanosaurus80: Yeah, no need to remind us why, jackass…
Savage Almond: Fellas, we should probably stop being uncharacteristically mean to each other and start the tournament already.
Mimikyutube: I agree with Sackof Oilymen! Now…
He grabs a nearby mic so the audience can hear his next words.
Mimikyutube:...LET US BEGIN THE CHRISTMAS TOURNAMENT!!!
And then the audience cheered, as ever they do.
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We cut to underneath the colosseum, where 50 contestants are each trapped in their own cage, guarded by Mimikyutube’s personal henchmen, the Eldritch Tapeworms. The contestants in question are:
Eucnemesaurus entaxonis
Ouranosaurus
Europatitan
Chromogisaurus
Sinosaurus
Eucnemesaurus fortis
Microraptor hanqingi
Pukyongosaurus
Podokesaurus
Microraptor gui
Buriolestes
Sarcosaurus
Siamraptor
Eodromaeus
Acrocanthosaurus
Gnathovorax
Pampadromaeus
Sanjuansaurus
Herrerasaurus
Yuxisaurus
Agustinia
Panphagia
Dornraptor
Erythrovenator
Mussaurus
Saltriovenator
Thecodontosaurus
Lamplughsaura
Saturnalia
Huayracursor
Zephyrosaurus
Priconodon
Abrictosaurus
Lesothosaurus
Vectaerovenator
Ichthyovenator
Fukuititan
Megapnosaurus
Gongxianosaurus
Anteavis
Eoraptor
Pradhania
Suchomimus
Jingshanosaurus
Nigersaurus
Mbiresaurus
Microraptor zhaoianus
Pegomastax
Gryponyx
Genyodectes
(admittedly a pretty odd selection of contestants, but idc)
Most of the combatants, of course, are freaking the fuck out about their situation. One such contestant, a Sanjuansaurus, is pleading with one of the Eldritch Tapeworms.
Sanjuansaurus: You gotta get me outta here, good sir! I’ll do anything! Anything you want!
The tapeworm in question turns his head towards the desperate captive.
Eldritch Tapeworm: Anything, eh…like what? 100 billion dabloons? 200 trillion social credit? Dinner with Jay-Z? What could YOU, of all creatures, offer ME?
Sanjuansaurus: W-well…perhaps you’d like me to call you “Bubba”...under the mistletoe?
Upon hearing this, the Eldritch Tapeworm somehow manages to contort his disturbing excuse for a face into a disgusted expression.
Eldritch Tapeworm: HELL NAH!!! Get that shit outta here bruh! I don’t even know how that would work!
The worm quickly slithers away from the freaky ahh herrerasaurid, but not before making one last remark.
Eldritch Tapeworm: And by the way, my name’s Jedidiah! NOT Bubba!
Now out of ideas to get out, Sanjuansaurus lies down and proceeds to be a miserable sack of shit. After a few minutes of this, though, he hears something from another nearby cage.
???:...PSST!
Confused, Sanjuansaurus looks over at the source of the noise. In that direction, he finds a certain Genyodectes aura-farming in his cell (like this lmao):
Sanjuansaurus: H-How may I help you, sir?
Genyodectes: I don’t know who you are. I don’t know what you want. If you are looking for a merry Christmas, I can tell you I don’t have jolliness, but what I do have are a very radical set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career in a certain association. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like our captors. If you don’t want to get involved, that’ll be the end of it. I will not bother with you, I will not remember you, but if you do, I will look out for you, I will escape with you and I will team up with you.
Sanjuansaurus’s reaction was to stare at the Genyodectes in confusion, causing him to sigh.
Genyodectes: Let me try again. I’m a Genyodectes, as you have probably already deduced.
Sanjuansaurus: Sure…
Genyodectes: What you don’t know is that I am a proud member of a certain organization, dedicated to destroying this Santa-forsaken planet. I have a plan to do so, but in order to set this plan in motion, first I’ll need to escape this place, and then I’ll need a partner for good measure. As such, I’ve selected you.
Sanjuansaurus: Certain organization…destroying this planet…waitwaitwait, what do you mean you’ve selected me? Why ME?
Genyodectes: Solely because the name “Sanjuansaurus” goes hard.
Sanjuansaurus: I see, I see…but what if I end up slowing you down or something? I’m not exactly anything special…
Genyodectes: Few are born “anything special”, Sanjuan. Most, like myself, are molded into greatness. That’s what I intend to do with you, if you so choose.
Sanjuansaurus:...Eh, why not, it sounds fun enough.
Genyodectes: Good. Now, first things first, don’t ever do any more gay shit like with that Tapewo–
Sanjuansaurus: That was OUT OF DESPERATION! I swear to you, I’m straight!
Genyodectes: Alright, I just wanted to make that clear. Next order of business, I’m gonna tell you the plan. This tournament doesn’t appear to be a death tournament, like what these guys usually do, so that means we have more breathing room than usual.
Sanjuansaurus: Uh-huh…what’s the plan tho?
The ceratosaurian pointed at a cage further away from them.
Genyodectes: The guy in that cage, that’s a Nigersaurus. And one of the most powerful gods out there is known simply as “the Nigersaurus God”. As you no doubt already know, the Nigersaurus God has a psychic connection to all Nigersauruses, allowing them to do unnatural things such as teleportation or flight.
Sanjuansaurus:...Sure, yeah…(Is this guy /srs or /j rn???)
Genyodectes: It’s the teleportation that we’ll need for our escape. I’ve figured out that the way to manually activate a Nigersaurus’s powers is through saying, in one’s vicinity…the n-word.
Sanjuansaurus gasped in shock.
Genyodectes: I know, it’s quite a surprise indeed. Anyway, when we’re unleashed into the arena, we’ll need to track down that Nigersaurus. Once we find it, we’ll need to cling onto it, and neither of us can let go. Once we do so, I’ll say the word, and with a little luck, we should be out of the colosseum. Any questions?
The herrerasaurid began to raise a hand, but Genyodectes started speaking again.
Genyodectes: Oh, and before you ask, I have an n-word pass, so we should be all good and jolly on that front.
Sanjuansaurus: A-Actually, I was wondering…what if one of the other contestants tries to attack us?
Genyodectes: Not to worry! I managed to smuggle my prized scimitar into the tournament, somehow.
He pulled out the scimitar in question, though he quickly resheathed it so none of the Eldritch Tapeworms would notice.
Genyodectes: I do wish I still had that weird machine that blew people 🤨 away, but the colosseum it was in got blown to shitereens, which was pretty unjolly in hindsight.
Sanjuansaurus: Wait, how come those worms aren’t paying attention to our scheming?
Genyodectes: Plot convenience, plus they probably don’t believe for a second that the plan will work. I can’t wait to show them…
Sanjuansaurus: But what if it doesn’t work? You said that we need a little luck, after all.
Genyodectes: Fret not. I have a backup plan, though I really don’t want to use it.
Sanjuansaurus: Why not?
Genyodectes: Reasons…but that’s irrelevant right now. Anything else?
Sanjuansaurus: I…I don’t think so…
Genyodectes: Alright then. Now we just have to wait for this festive ahh tournament to start.
Sanjuansaurus: Also since we’re friends now, my full legal name is actually Donathan Sanathan Juanathan Saurusathan Gordathan Illinoisathan the Fourty-Oneathan.
Genyodectes: Cool, I ain’t rememberin’ allat. I’ll just keep calling you Sanjuansaurus.
Sanjuansaurus:
Right on cue, the platform all the cages are on started rising, and the ceiling opened up to reveal the arena, the spectator stands, everything that is jolly or otherwise.
The cages proceeded to separate into pieces and sink back into the platform, giving the combatant free reign of their arena. ‘Twas a festive place indeed, with colorful lights adorning the walls, Christmas trees covered in ornaments littering the ground (which itself was coated in salt, perhaps in an attempt to replicate snow), and a general air of delight, especially amongst the intrigued crowd.
Soon, the combatants heard a voice coming from one of the walls. It was one of their captors, who was now laying out some rules.
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Mimikyutube: Alright, here’s the dealio! In celebration of such a fine holiday, the way this tournament will work is instead of killing each other, the combatants will have to fill each up with Christmas cheer! When someone is filled with enough of it, they will fall unconscious and be sent back underground! The last one standing will be the winner! But fear not, there’ll be a special surprise at the end!
Mimikyutube could hear one of the other Tyrants snickering in the background, and he himself felt inclined to agree that the situation was quite amusing. Or rather, it would be soon enough. Regardless, he had to finish his announcement, and so he spoke over the cheers of the crowd.
Mimikyutube: With that all said, LET THE FESTIVITIES…BEGIN!!!
And then, the crowd went wild with their cheering. He and the other Tyrants were unsure how they would react to such a different kind of tournament than what they were used to, but it seemed that they were hooked the second they had caught that little implication of what was to come.
But for now? They had a tournament to watch.
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Battle Music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ye9hGotPPVk
Mimikyutube: Hey, hey, HOLD THE PHONE! That song isn’t about Christmas!
Concaventor Wrangler: Well, it is a very jolly song, so…
The skinwalker Tyrant merely sighed, in reluctant acceptance.
Mimikyutube: When I get my hands on the minion in charge of the song choice…
Back in the arena, the festivities have only just begun.
Thecodontosaurus was the first one out, having been so entranced by the arena’s jolly atmosphere that he fell unconscious immediately. Suchomimus will be claiming that “kill”.
Priconodon acted fast, drawing up an official-looking nice list with Gnathovorax’s name on it. Upon being shown the list and being convinced that it was written by Santa himself, the herrerasaurid was overwhelmed by jolliness and fell to the floor.
Dornraptor took some Christmas lights from the arena wall, and attempted to whip Saturnalia with them. However, the sauropodomorph grabbed the whip as it was flying at him, and sneered:
Saturnalia: FOOL! You should’ve known…I celebrate HANUKKAH!!!
Dornraptor: Wait what.
Saturnalia: To make matters worse for you…Hanukkah ALREADY ENDED!!! Nothing can fill me with Christmas cheer!
Dornraptor: Well shit–
Saturnalia proceeded to rip the lights out of Dornraptor’s hands and whip him with them, overloading him with Christmas cheer, and causing him to fall unconscious.
Genyodectes: Alright, we just gotta look for that Nigersaurus! Preferably without getting too jolly!
Sanjuansaurus: Easier said than done!
Ichthyovenator was feeling a little too jolly for comfort. Luckily, the ever-reliable Pegomastax, with his natural love of stealing, snatched the spinosaurid’s jolliness, and combined it with his own. You know what happened next.
Yuxisaurus found himself in a forest full of Christmas trees, and was quickly knocked out through sheer Christmas spirit. Lamplughsaura will be claiming that.
Genyodectes and Sanjuansaurus suddenly came across Mbiresaurus, who was looking to get them nice and jolly.
Sanjuansaurus: Wuh-oh! I know this guy, he’s called Big Merry!
Big Merry: MMMMM, why don’tcha turn around and let me show you some real Christmas cheer, boys?
Sanjuansaurus: Oh, this is bad!
Genyodectes: Heh…it’s been a while since I got to test my swordsmanship…
Genyodectes unsheathed his scimitar, but Big Merry acted faster, knocking the blade out of the ceratosaurian’s hand through pure strength.
Big Merry: Sneaking a weapon like that in a jolly tournament like this…’fraid that’s against the rules, boy.
Sanjuansaurus: Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit–
Genyodectes: Calm down! We can take him, it’ll just be–
But once again, Big Merry proved himself the stronger fighter despite his small size, backhanding Genyodectes to the ground and lifting Sanjuansaurus up by the neck.
Big Merry: Mmmmmm…I’m just about ready to show you why they call me “Big Merry”...
Sanjuansaurus: FORTHELOVEOFGODSOMEONEHELPMEIDON’TWANTITTOENDLIKETHIS
Thankfully, Saturnalia struck again, smacking the Mbiresaurus silly with an oversized candy cane he found sticking out of the ground. It didn’t take long for Big Merry to fall unconscious due in part to the magic of Christmas.
Genyodectes picked himself off the ground and grabbed his scimitar, before looking up at his and Sanjuansaurus’s savior.
Genyodectes: Th…thanks…
Saturnalia: Np broski. That Big Merry fellow was beginning to be a menace…can’t believe he tried to beat you guys to death with a giant Christmas tree!
Sanjuansaurus: Yeah, exa–wait was THAT what he was trying to do?!?!?!
Saturnalia: I mean, yeah, what else would he be doing to you?
Sanjuansaurus:...Nevermind…
Genyodectes: Well, we appreciate the save, but Sanjuan Wolf and I have business to attend to, so if you’ll excuse us…
Sanjuansaurus: Hey, my name’s not Sanjuan Wolf! I already told you, it’s Donathan Sanathan Jua–
Genyodectes: You know what, forget I said anything.
To their displeasure, Saturnalia’s response was to sigh.
Saturnalia: Listen, fellas. I kinda wanna win this thing, and that requires me to overpower you guys with jolliness…plus, I’m not about to waste my natural advantage for the sake of others, so…
Genyodectes: Shit! We better run!
Genyodectes and Sanjuansaurus proceeded to flee the scene, with the Jewish sauropodomorph in hot pursuit.
Genyodectes: Why the hell is every Saturnalia I meet or learn about so goddamn powerful?!?!?!
Sanjuansaurus: THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE FOCUSED ON?!?!?!
Pradhania was looking to engage in criminal activities regarding a certain bestseller by a certain Sithnapsid, but Suchomimus had other plans. The spinosaurid proceeded to forcefully knock the sauropodomorph unconscious with a giant star topper. As he had expected, Pradhania was sent underground, as even the traditional methods of knocking someone out counted here.
Eucnemesaurus entaxonis was a devious mf, and attempted to tax Eoraptor. The basal sauropodomorph instantly entered a state of depression, as any taxpayer would, until the other sauropodomorph told him that he was being taxed for not being jolly enough. Eoraptor’s jolliness naturally went through the roof upon hearing that, and the rest is history.
Ichthyovenator’s jolliness soon went back up to its original level, and since there was no Pegomastax to take it away this time, and Saturnalia was preoccupied with pursuing our protagonists, he quickly fell unconscious. Acrocanthosaurus will be claiming that.
Siamraptor showed Lamplughsaura this jolly GIF:
And Lamplughsaura did as the meme told.
Europatitan was minding his own business, until he heard the cheers of the crowd. Their festivity, their delight, their lust for presents and holiday cheer, it resonated with him. And thus, the jolliness of good ol’ Saint Nick took Europatitan for his own. Chromogisaurus will be claiming that.
Ouranosaurus came in on his sleigh, and pulled up next to Herrerasaurus. The Triassic saurischian initially tried to ignore the hadrosauriform and go back to collecting blood and skulls for his one true god, until Ouranosaurus hopped out of the sleigh and told him the true meaning of Christmas. And thus, good ol’ Saint Nick took Herrerasaurus for his own.
Gryponyx decided to go to the General and save some time, but the one store he could find was decorated for the holidays, by none other than Lesothosaurus. Gryponyx did not last long enough to exit the store, and fell unconscious.
Chromogisaurus and Eucnemesaurus entaxonis met after the latter’s jolly tax shenanigans. They were quickly locked in a seemingly eternal jolly-off, with Chromogisaurus able to defend against Entaxonis’s I.R.S.-approved festivities, but unable to fight through them. That is, until he pulled out the fruitcake and eggnog. Needless to say, the odds were now in his favor, and Eucnemesaurus entaxonis lost the jolly-off.
Genyodectes: Be sure to look out for that Nigersaurus!
Sanjuansaurus: Shouldn’t we try to lose this guy first?!
Saturnalia: You can’t escape me! I have a little dreidel, and I made it out of clay!
Saturnalia pulled out a dreidel and threw it at the theropods, with the intention of slowing them down. However, Genyodectes caught it and hurled it at the nearby Sarcosaurus, who was at the wrong place at the wrong time. The neotheropod was out cold, and his elimination will be claimed by Abrictosaurus.
Megapnosaurus knew not who he was, not why he existed. But he did know one thing; that he must spread Christmas cheer everywhere he could. Eucnemesaurus fortis was his first victim. Would it be his last? I ask again, who knows?
Mussaurus was minding his own business, taking in the beauty of Christmas, though not too much so as to avoid falling unconscious. However, then came Anteavis, whose opposite feelings were as deep as his subconscious. He knew that Mussaurus liked Christmas a lot, but Anteavis, who spied on him from just up north, did not. From up high, Anteavis spouted hateful rhetoric regarding the whole Christmas season. Whether he truly believed it or not, no one quite knows the reason. Either way, it worked, and Mussaurus countered with more jolliness. And as such, he fell unconscious, and Anteavis claimed him as a victim of his own “godliness”.
Megapnosaurus has jollily claimed another victim, being Buriolestes. As it turns out, Eucnemesaurus fortis would not be the last.
Jingshanosaurus was the next to fall, after having seen Santa’s sleigh flying by, high up in the Tyrantian skies. However, what he truly saw was not Santa, but Lesothosaurus, who had somehow gotten ahold of a red-and-green colored biplane and was now flying that shit around.
Drunk-ass Gongxianosaurus attempted to go to Lesothosaurus’s store and purchase some more booze, only to find that not only was there no alcoholic beverages, but any alternatives he could find were all highly expensive. Suddenly, Siamraptor popped up from behind a counter and started babbling about sum “SouthPoleCoin™” shit, but the whimsiless sauropod was having none of it and smashed a beer bottle over the carcharodontosaurian’s head, knocking him out.
Saturnalia: And when they’re dry and ready…
Sanjuansaurus: What is it NOW?!
Genyodectes: (Oh shit…)...Get ready to zigzag!
Sanjuansaurus: Huh?!
Saturnalia proceeded to pull out an entire ass bag full of dreidels.
Saturnalia:...THEN DREIDELS I SHALL PLAY!!!
He then tossed the bag above the two, spilling dreidels all over the ground. However, these were no ordinary dreidels, as attributed to an explosion coming from right next to Genyodectes.
Genyodectes: Did he put fucking bombs in those dreidels?
Sanjuansaurus: Like, zoinks, dude, we’re so screwed!
Genyodectes: Don’t give up yet! I’ve got a plan!
Genyodectes snatched one of the dreidels and tossed it at Saturnalia. It bonked his head, but otherwise didn’t seem to faze him. It did, however, land next to a passing Erythrovenator, before blowing up and knocking the guy out, as well as severely injuring (but somehow not killing) him. Fukuititan will be claiming that.
Genyodectes:...Didn’t work.
Sanjuansaurus: No shit!
Saturnalia: It doesn’t matter, I’m sending you from Frown Town to Whosville, and you’re gonna be jolly about it, so help me…uh…
Genyodectes: He’s distracted! Let’s whoop his ass!
Genyodectes jumped backwards and landed a nasty kick to Saturnalia’s face. However, it only sent him staggering for a moment, before the basal sauropodomorph recovered and retaliated. Genyodectes spent a minute avoiding the following swings, before Sanjuansaurus decided to grow a pair and join the fight. After putting Saturnalia on the defensive, the theropods joined together, preparing to do a jolly combination attack. Seeing this, Saturnalia prepared to do his own.
They jumped in the air, and scimitar and clawed foot met fist.
(pretend the jungle is a winter wonderland)
The impact from the three attacks caught the attention of many contestants, among which were Anteavis and Megapnosaurus during their fight. Megapnosaurus knew how to spread jolliness and Christmas cheer, but that impact distracted him from his crusade, and he learned how to observe instead of act. However, Anteavis used the opportunity to smack Megapnosaurus upside the head with a sack of gifts, knocking him out through the same delight the coelophysid existed to spread.
Chromogisaurus was drinking his eggnog, until he heard Saltriovenator singing the hit song White Christmas by Bing Crosby. Since the song is not only an actual fucking Christmas song like Mimikyutube wanted, but also peak, Chromogisaurus was knocked out immediately.
Microraptor gui was ganged up on by Ouranosaurus, Abrictosaurus, and Eodromaeus, who were all preparing to show him some Christmas spirit. However, Microraptor gui had an ability that few knew about, called “Krampus’s Haki”, which made jolly attacks ineffective. So, he unleashed it like this:
Before charging at Ouranosaurus, roundhouse kicking him in the head, and fleeing the scene.
Back to the two protagonists, their battle with Saturnalia had quickly reached a (metaphorical) standstill. This is because both sides were constantly switching to and from offense and defense in split seconds, dodging punches, kicks, slashes, stabs, all at speeds that should not be physically possible (especially for Sanjuansaurus’s inexperienced ass). Their battle of naughty and nice had even begun causing a snowstorm made of salt (a saltstorm?) to form, spreading across the arena, unlikely to disappear anytime soon (though thankfully not obscuring the vision of the audience or the Tyrants).
Sanjuansaurus: Bruh how long are we gonna be fighting this guy?
Saturnalia: Until I get the results I want, of course!
Sanjuansaurus: Nobody asked you!
Genyodectes: Yeah, I think we’re gonna have to break this off. It’s going nowhe–
Saturnalia: Nonsense! I made the choice to target you guys, and it’d be wrong of me to go back on that!
???: Well, too bad, so sad!
Saturnalia: Who the hell was tha–
Genyodectes and Sanjuansaurus saw what was coming and jumped back in time, but Saturnalia wasn’t so lucky, and a giant ass sleigh plowed into him, sending the sauropodomorph flying. Ofc it also knocked him unconscious, though it was a testament to his strength that he didn’t end up celebrating Christmas in the afterlife because of that hit. As for the culprit, the sleigh’s driver hopped out, and was revealed to be…
…Acrocanthosaurus.
Acrocanthosaurus: HO HO HO! I’M THE FUCKIN’ SANTACROCANTHOSAURUS!!! PREPARE TO MEET THY DOOM, MORTALS!!!
Or IG his name’s Santacrocanthosaurus now.
Genyodectes: Well shit, we’ve gone into the fire now.
Sanjuansaurus: Hey, maybe this guy isn’t as strong as–
As the battle music changed to this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cMlPo9XjZQ
Mimikyutube: STILL NOT A FUCKING CHRISTMAS SONG, YOU USELESS BUM-ASS HENCHMAN!!!
Santacrocanthosaurus pulled out a double-bladed candy cane thingy and swung it around like a maniac, before lunging at the duo.
Sanjuansaurus: Oh shit! Forget I said anything…
Genyodectes: Be careful! If that thing touches you, you’ll overflow with cheerfulness and delight!
Santacrocanthosaurus: HELL YEAH, IT’S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS!!!
After having avoided the wrath of Microraptor gui, Eodromaeus separated from Abrictosaurus and went off to find an easier target. He found Microraptor zhaoianus, who did not have Krampus’s Haki, so the basal theropod had little issue exposing the dromaeosaurid to the joy of those peppermint ball things.
On the other hand, Pampadromaeus attempted to go for Sanjuansaurus while he and Genyodectes were distracted by Santacrocanthosaurus’s crazy-ass. However, he soon noticed just who they were fighting, and Santacrocanthosaurus’s jolly demeanor knocked the basal sauropodomorph unconscious.
Panphagia found a gingerbread man cookie cutter lying around, and showed it to Microraptor hanqingi. After the sauropodomorph used it to cut out some of the salt, the dromaeosaurid fell unconscious from sheer joy and jolliness, leaving the Krampus’s Haki fella as the last Microraptor left.
Abrictosaurus felt a little betrayed after Eodromaeus abandoned him, but he soon received twice the jolliness that he could handle upon accidentally being smacked by Santacrocanthosaurus’s double-bladed cane.
After accidentally smacking Abrictosaurus, Santacrocanthosaurus reached the two theropods and swung his cane at them. Both of them jumped back, just barely avoiding the attack, but for some reason, the carcharodontosaurid mirrored their jump. He then pulled out a huge lump of coal.
Sanjuansaurus: Ha! Do you seriously expect COAL of all things to make us feel jolly? The item specifically given out to the naughty?
Santacrocanthosaurus: SHUT THE HELL UP, I’M TRYING TO AIM!
Genyodectes: I don’t think he’s going for us–
Indeed he wasn’t, as Genyodectes and Sanjuansaurus watched as Santacrocanthosaurus chucked the coal at the head of a passing Fukuititan, knocking him out immediately due to its weight and velocity.
Santacrocanthosaurus: THAT GUY LOOKED TOO NAUGHTY TO BE LEFT STANDING…AND YOU TWO CHUCKLEFUCKS ARE NEXT!!!
Sanjuansaurus: Um, I think we should start running again!
Genyodectes: Fine! But don’t forget, our priority is that damn Nigersaurus!
As they ran for their lives once again, Santacrocanthosaurus hopped back in his sleigh to give chase, accidentally hitting Suchomimus in the process and knocking him out. Sanjuansaurus will be claiming that, despite the fact that he’s busy trying not to get claimed by a deranged megatheropod playing Santa.
Sanjuansaurus: Yo, Genyodectes!
Genyodectes: Yeah?!
Sanjuansaurus: What if the Nigersaurus is already out?!
Genyodectes: Then we let ourselves get knocked out, too! Remember, the losers don’t die in this tournament, they just get sent back underground!
Sanjuansaurus: But what if we’re put back in our cages?!
Genyodectes: Then I’ll have to use that backup plan I mentioned earlier! Though again, I really hope we don’t have to!
Sanjuansaurus: Why not?!
Santacrocanthosaurus: STOP IGNORING ME AND FACE THE INEVITABLE!!!
Saltriovenator finished singing White Christmas, so he switched to Silver and Gold by Burl Ives. This filled the nearby Priconodon with dreams of silver and gold and the idea of getting both for Christmas, which in turn filled him with jolliness and Christmas spirit, and you likely already know what that led to.
Panphagia then showed off his cookie cutter to Agustinia, who was impressed, but not jolly enough to fall unconscious. Things got much worse for the sauropodomorph when the sauropod full stop proceeded to show off his carefully-crafted gingerbread house, which filled the former with delight at the sight of such a fine piece of art. All part of the plan, indeed.
Anteavis pulled out a cartoonish ahh bomb and planted it right in front of Eodromaeus, but instead of lighting it, he opened it in front of the basal theropod, revealing a bowl full of delicious soup. Eodromaeus naturally ate the whole bowl, and fell unconscious due to both jolliness and just him being full.
However, that would be the end of Anteavis’s festive foolery, as Sinosaurus proceeded to sneak up on him and bonk him repeatedly with a pair of small, round ornaments, filling the theropod’s head with jolly thoughts regarding setting up a Christmas tree, which of course resulted in him falling to the floor, unconscious.
Meanwhile, as they were running, Sanjuansaurus noticed something in the distance.
Genyodectes: What is it?! Is it that Nigersaurus?!
Sanjuansaurus: Even better! It’s that Krampus’s Haki guy! The Microraptor!
Genyodectes:...I like your plan! Come on!
Sinosaurus’s jolly streak was not over quite yet, as his next target was Podokesaurus. As the coelophysoid was not a count, he stood no chance against the Christmas cheer that the basal theropod brought his way. Poor bastard.
Microraptor gui was minding his own business when he noticed the two theropods coming his way, followed by a giant sleigh in the distance.
Genyodectes: You keep his attention, I’ll distract him!
Sanjuansaurus: Alright!
Microraptor gui unleashed a burst of Krampus’s Haki, but it was no use, as neither of his attackers were feeling particularly jolly at the moment. Sanjuansaurus jumped at him, but was quickly tossed away. The dromaeosaurid then realized that Genyodectes was nowhere to be seen, and sure enough, upon turning around, he saw the ceratosaurian taking him from the left side. Before Microraptor gui could do anything, Genyodectes grabbed him by the legs, spun around for momentum, and hurled him in the direction of the sleigh. He stopped to catch his breath as Sanjuansaurus rejoined him.
Sanjuansaurus: That should keep him busy for a while…
Genyodectes: With any luck, yeah. Now where’s that goddamn Nigersaurus?
While on his sleigh, Santacrocanthosaurus couldn’t help but notice something flying his way.
Santacrocanthosaurus: DON’T TELL ME THAT’S–
To his horror, it was indeed Microraptor gui, who plowed into the megatheropod with enough force to knock him off his sleigh. Both carcharodontosaurid and dromaeosaurid got up, and proceeded to stare each other down.
Santacrocanthosaurus: SO, YOU’RE THAT “KRAMPUS’S HAKI” KID I”VE HEARD SO DAMN MUCH ABOUT?
Microraptor gui: 私はミクロラプトル・グイだ。私が北極の王となるのだ。
Santacrocanthosaurus: “KING OF THE NORTH POLE”, HUH? LOOKS LIKE THIS TOURNAMENT JUST GOT THAT MUCH MORE INTERESTING…
Microraptor gui: もう少し静かに話してもらえませんか？あなたの叫び声が私の神経に障ります。
Santacrocanthosaurus: HEH, YOU’RE ONE TO TALK.
Microraptor gui: 本当に今ここでこれをやりたいの？
Santacrocanthosaurus: AS A MATTER OF FACT…I DO.
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