This is a continuation to a very old storyline, that was abandoned until now. Make sure to read Part 1 first if you haven't yet. I allow necroposting in the replies down there for now. I apologize if I haven't proof read this post properly as I'm slightly drunk as of typing this rn (like a true Polish person). Hope it's not too incomprehensible and you can enjoy your read regardless.
We get a shot of The Dude, Gryposaurus and Nodosaurus standing in a street that was ruined by their prior battle.
Nodosaurus: –Alright, they’re getting close, we gotta run!
The Dude: Yeah, let’s go…
The Dude, Gryposaurus and Mace-Nodo Windu make a run for it, as the group of IRS Tax Collector Bots enter the scene.
Tax Bot: Commence Operation, Tax Collection. Scanning for Taxes.
One of the bots scans the street ahead, catching the 3.
Tax Bot: Target identified. Unpaid Taxes exceeding five hundred thousand dollars detected. Pursue and collect debt.
The Tax Bots activate their jet packs and fly after the group, The Dude looks over his shoulder as they dash through the streets avoiding traffic on the road.
https://youtu.be/9CuIrnM7T8U?si=EmfOmUc4o64rYhk3
The Dude: For some government made junk, these look really advanced!
Gryposaurus: That’s probably thanks to all the tax money!
Nodosaurus: Less talking, more running!
One of the bots flies up to them.
Tax Bot: Maurice Nolan Dwinder, you have unpaid taxes of 527,928 dollars and 63 cents. Further evasion will result in increased pena-
Mace Nodo-Windu: NEVER!
The Nodosaurus slams his flank into the bot, sending it crashing into a nearby building with a fiery explosion.
The Dude: Wait, that’s your real name???!!
Mace Nodo-Windu: Not right now!
Nodo-Windu whips out his lightsaber and cuts through a truck that drove in from an intersection from the left, so that they can run through, the Tax bots close in on them from the air.
Gryposaurus jumps from car to car, before leaping onto a truck, but one of the bots lands in front of him.
Tax Bot: You are under arrest for assisting Maurice Nolan Dwinder in tax evasion, do you accept thoss charges?
Gryposaurus then ducks, as the Truck drives under a bridge, the Tax Bot crashes into it.
Gryposaurus: That was close…
Cut the Dude running from the Tax bots, sprinting through the street.
Tax Bot: Launching Audit Nets.
From above one of the robots fires a Net towards The Dude, who smashes through a Bus to his right to avoid it. He reaches for a motorcycle driving by and throws it into one of the Tax Bots, causing another fiery explosion.
Tax Bot: Resistance detected, use of lethal force authorised. Firing Interest Rate Rockets!
The bots launch heat seeking missiles towards The Dude.
The Dude: Shit! Gotta think fast!
He quickly turns left, sliding to the side from the momentum, he stabs his claws into ground, leaving scratch marks in the road as he slows himself down enough to regain balance before dashing forward into an Alleyway, the missiles hot on his trail, the Tax Bots following soon after. In the alley he sees a bunch of dumpsters on the sides, so he stretches his arms outward and swings them upwards, the first 2 missiles crash into the dumpsters, the rest are knocked off-course by the force of the explosion and crash into the walls and ground. The Tax Bots fly through
the fancy fireball, they get a few dents from the debris but they’re still functioning. They fly out of the alley and scan for the surroundings for the dude.
Tax Bot: Where did he go?
A brick drops onto one of their heads, they look up and notice The Dude climbing the building, his tail dissapears over the edge of the building.
Meanwhile Nodo-Windu is being chased by the most tax bots, since he’s kinda their main target. He charges through the streets, slamming into cars to clear his ways, the Tax Bots fly after him.
Tax Bot: Firing Interest Rate Rockets.
Nodosaurus: Nuh uh
Nodo-Windu turns around and uses to force crush the missiles, detonating them mid-air. Taking off again, he runs through a busy intersection, cars screech and swerve trying to avoid him as he leaps over a truck, landing with a heavily on the other side, two more bots descend in front of him.
Tax Bot: Maurice Nolan Dwindler, surrender immed-
Nodosaurus: YOU DON’T HAVE TO SAY THE FULL NAME EVERY TIME, GOD DAMN IT!
He uses the force to tear the street light pole out of the ground and pulls it towards himself, grabbing it in his mouth, he swings it fiercely, slamming the 2 bots into eachother and then into the building on the right, nearly cleaving them in half as they explode. But more fly in from above.
Nodosaurus: Do they ever run out?
Nodosaurus runs down the street only to see the Tax Bots have set up a blockade for him up ahead, he quickly turns and runs into a small alley, but there’s a dead end in this one.
Tax Bot: You have been cornered, Mauri-
Nodosaurus: SHUT UP
Nodo-Windu throws his purple lightsaber at the robot, destroying it, he then uses the force to pull it back to himself.
Nodosaurus: I’M TIRED OF THESE MOTHERFUCKING TAXES, ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING EARTH
Nodosaurus prepares to take a stand against the Tax Bots as we cut away to Gryposaurus on the truck.
Gryposaurus: More of them?!
Tax Bots: Firing Levy Lasers.
The attacking bots fire lasers at the Truck, Gryposaurus does his best at avoiding him, while trying to not fall off from the vehicle, as the laser scorch the steel of the trailer.
Gryposaurus: Think dude, think!
That’s when he sees one of the laser blasts heading straight towards him, he panics, turning around, trying to shield himself as best as he can, and through that surge of adrenaline and desperation he is somehow able to deflect the laser using the force, returning it to sender, with the Tax Bot that fired it dropping to the ground.
The ornithopod looks over his shoulder shocked, he was expecting to get shot.
Gryposaurus: Did I do that?
The Tax bots resume fire at him, and he has to keep dodging.
Gryposaurus: Good thing their aim sucks
Tax Bot: Firing Interest Rate Rockets!
Gryposaurus: That doesn’t look like it’s going to miss…
He tries repeating what he pulled off earlier, but instead of stopping the missile he force throws a car into it, scrap metal flies everywhere, destroying one of the tax bots, but another piece nearly kills Gryposaurus himself as it flies towards him, the hadrosaur drops to the ground but even then the hunk of hot steel scrapes him, drawing blood.
Gryposaurus: Uh… Yeah that was totally inteded!
Another one of the Bots lands onto the truck, it tries going for a punch, but Gryposaurus turns around, slamming his tail into and sending it falling into a car on the lane next to the truck. Gryposaurus notices a road sign, he tries using the force to snatch it and hurl it into one of the bots, but he lifts a trash can instead, once again it almost his him, but he avoids it and falls onto one of the Bots’ head. The Bot tries to take it off so that it can see again, but before that happens it flies into said sign and exploded upon impact.
The remaining bots keep firing, one of them gets a diffirent idea.
Tax Bots: Engage, Penalty Pylons!
It fires Pylons into the truck, it starts pulling in the opposite direction, slowing the vehicle down.
Gryposaurus: Oh uh, that’s not good, uhh, think fast!
He looks down noticing a hole in the trailer caused by all the laser fire, there’s some crates inside.
Gryposaurus: I could throw that!
He tries using the force to send the crates towards the bots, but instead he lifts up the whole trailer sending it through the air. He desperately clings to it.
Gryposaurus: NOT THE WHOLE THING!
The truck crashes through the remaining 3 tax bots destroying them and continues making it’s way through the air, Gryposaurus falls off, managing to grab onto the edge of a building and sliding down, getting bruised as hell, but he could have died. Meanwhile the truck flies into a gas station causing a massive explosion.
Gryposaurus slowly gets up, groaning in pain, before looking up at the destruction he has caused.
Gryposaurus: Well, it wasn't stupid if it worked…
But then another Tax Bot descends from the air behind him.
Gryposaurus: OH COME ON
Cut to The Dude sprinting on the rooftops, jumping from the top of one building to another, as the Tax Bots close in on him. The Dude runs up to a nearby water tower, grabbing one of it’s legs and breaking it off, causing the tower to fall and the tank to spill, which sweeps 2 Tax Bots away, while also causing them to short-circuit, The Dude doesn’t stop and stabs through another Tax Bot with the tower’s leg, it emits a robotic screech and drops to the ground, no longer functioning.
The Dude: I wonder what kind of information do those guys have on them… Government secrets can be sold for a hefty sum…
He grabs the bots head and lifts it up to the sky, studying it from various angles before he hears more Tax Bots coming, he quickly stuffs it into his back pack and whips out a Laser Rifle.
The Dude: Bring it suckers!
He aims his rifle and blasts down 3 approaching Tax Bots 1 by 1, they fall to the ground in flames after being hit. The rest of the swarm fires missiles towards him, The Dude swiftly grabs his lightsaber, slicing through the rooftop deck in front of him, he puts puts down his laser rifle and shoves his claws through the sliced area, tearing the chunk of concrete out of the building and using it as a shield, after which he swiftly picks up his rifle and blasts 2 more of the Tax Bots down. He then leaps onto a shorter building while evading Tax Bot fire. As he sours over the gap he sees Gryposaurus down below, struggling against a group of Tax Bots.
The Dude: He looks like he’s in trouble…
He grabs his lightsaber again and waits for the bots to get closer, when they fly over the taller building’s edge, The Dude leaps off towards the nearest one, stabbing into it with his lightsaber for leverage, as they fall down, he takes out the remaining ones with his rifle, before he leaps off the bot he was holding onto, stabbing his lightsaber into the side of the building, gracefully sliding down to the street as the taken out dozen of bots crash into the ground in a fiery explosion.
Gryposaurus gets punched in the face by one of thr Tax Bots and is knocked to the ground. The Tax bot is about to trap him in a net when he’s blasted by The Dude with his rifle.
Gryposaurus: It’s you!
The Dude: Yes, and I brought back-up.
Gryposaurus: Who?
The Dude: This bad boy!
He whips out a grenade from backpack and tosses it towards a group of Tax Bots down the street.
The Dude: Duck!
Gryposaurus: Where?
The Dude: Wha..? Not that kind of duck!
The grenade explodes sending debris and Tax Bots parts everywhere.
Gryposaurus: OH
He drops to the ground, just barely avoiding death again.
The Dude: Jesus Christ, are you okay?
Gryposaurus: Yeah, I’m fine.
The Dude: Alright…
He scouts the sky for more Tax Bots, but there aren’t any more coming.
The Dude: I think we’ve put a dent in their numbers. We gotta find the fat one and then I can call for my back-up ship and get us outta there.
Gryposaurus: Sick, let’s go.
Nodosaurus: I’LL NEVER PAY TAXES, GRAAHHHHH
Nodo-Windu charges towards the nearest Tax Bot, with his purple lightsaber in his mouth, slicing through it.
Tax Bot: Launching Tax Garnishment Fist.
The Bot kneels down and fires his fist towards the Nodosaurus, who leaps over it, the fist flies into another Tax Bot, punching a hole through it, before turning back and flying back towards the Tax Bot, who Nodo-Windu lands in front of, with 2 quick cuts severing it’s arms, then spinning to slash at it’s neck, then slamming his tail into it, easily knocking the severed head off the robot.
Tax Bot: Firing Interest Rate Rockets!
Using Force Speed, Nodo-Windu dashes to the side avoiding the missiles, which crash into the ground.
Nodosaurus: I’ve seen bigger explosions after eating my breakfast burrito!
Nodo-Windu leaps onto the wall to the left and quickly rebounds, curling into a ball and crashing through Tax Bot like a wrecking ball. More of the suckers open fire on him, and he deflects their lasers using his lightsabers, some of the deflected lasers hit them back but they’re not really strong enough to destroy them, so Nodo-Windu knocks them all of balance with a force push and then dashes from one to another striking them down with his lightsaber. He picks one of them up with the force, using him as a shield as he charges towards another, pushing it into the wall, before stabbing through them both with his saber. He turns around, using the force to pickup all the severed limbs and other chunks of metal, and hurls them towards an approaching group at a high speed, turning the scrap metal into shrapnel, that flies through the group, leaving only one survivor.
Tax Bot: Uh oh.
With a force pull, Nodo-Windu sends the last bot standing towards himself and cuts him in two when he’s in reach, as Gryposaurus and The Dude run into the scene.
Gryposaurus: There you are.
The Dude: Good job here, I think that takes care of them, for a while at least. Now I think it’s about time we leave.
(I spent like 30 minutes trying to find a good chill sing to fit this moment lmao)
Nodosaurus: Agreed. But how are we going to do that exactly.
The Dude: I have a back-up ship. We’ll actually it’s my main ship, the one you guys wrecked was a back-up, I flew that one cause I don’t want to damage my main one.
Nodosaurus: Where is it then?
The Dude: Oh it’s right here!
He whips out some fancy tech device and presses a button, after which a space ship descends from the sky above them.
The Dude: A modified Firespray-31, pretty badass if you ask me.
Nodosaurus: Okay that IS pretty badass.
A ladder descends from the rear.
The Dude: Get in boys.
They hop in, Nodosaurus and Gryposaurus scan the ships interior, while The Dude puts his backpack down on le couch, taking the severed Tax Bot head out of it, he places it on a desk.
The Dude: I’ll take care of you later.
Gryposaurus: Why did you take it?
The Dude: Well… Maurice over there was supposed tk be my bounty for today but one think led to another and now we’re chill, it’d suck to get nothing out of his whole trip, so I snatched one of these, the data stored on this thing could go for a nice sum. Gotta keep on hustling.
Nodosaurus: Who… wanted you to hunt me down.
The Dude: Some guy on the internet. I don’t care about that.
Nodosaurus: But you know why they wanted a bounty?
The Dude: I think they said you oved them money.
Nodosaurus: You think?
The Dude: I mean who the fuck do you mean I am? The police? I’m a professional bounty hunter, someone tells me to kill someone else and then I go kill that person, I get paid and move on to the next gig, I don’t care why I got hired, it’s all about that paycheck.
Nodosaurus: That’s… fair actually.
Gryposaurus: Are you like not scared they’ll get revenge for you bailing on them, I mean, street rules and shit…
The Dude: Street rules don’t exist when you actually live on the streets, anyway buckle your fuckles boys, we’re taking off.
He sits down in the pilot seat and pushes some buttons before taking off, Gryposaurus sits with Nodosaurus in the back.
Gryposaurus: So uhh, do you know who you could be owing that money too?
Nodosaurus: I have no idea.
The Dude presses some more buttons and turns on some auto-pilot shit, he gets off the pilot seat and then seats down next to them.
The Dude: It would be really funny if it was actually the IRS that hired me to get you…
Nodosaurus: That… could be it…
Gryposaurus: What? No way, the government would never do something evil like that…
The Dude: …
Nodosaurus: …we’re you like asleep for the entirity of today?
Gryposaurus: … oh.
The Dude: Does that mean I have beef with the IRS now too, cause I bailed on their bounty?
Nodosaurus: Shit… they’re going after us all now!
The Dude: Ehhh, it’s not like they’re gonna catch us, I mean how would they even find us, we’re leaving the planet soon!
Gryposaurus: You’re probably right, It’d be a waste of resources to chase us now.
Suddenly a loud bang is heard, followed by an alarm buzzing, red lights blink on and off.
The Dude: SHIT, THEY GOT US
He rushes over to the control panel, trying to regain control over the dropping machine.
The Dude: Hold on Fellas, emergency landing!
Gryposaurus: What the hell! We basically left the planet!
Nodosaurus: It’s the IRS man, they’re fucking crazy!
The Dude presses buttons and grabs the steering wheel. Through the front window, he can see the ocean below them.
The Dude: Ok, I’ve done this before, don’t worry guys!
He pulls the steering wheel upwards, he grits his teeth, guiding the ship towards the ocean at a sharp angle.
The Dude: Brace for impact!
The ship hits the surface of the water with a loud splash, sliding across the surface and slowly loosing speed, before coming to a stop. The Dude opens the hatch on the top and they climb out of the ship
Nodosaurus: Well, shit, stranded in the middle of the ocean.
Gryposaurus: At least we didn’t crash…
The Dude: What did they even shoot us down with???
Gryposaurus: Uhhh, I think it was that…
He points with his hind leg at a giant machine descending from the sky. It lands in the deep sea, it’s so huge it walks on the seafloor towards them.
Nodosaurus: What the fuck is that thing?!
The machine’s eye turns off, it twists in a fancy way, opening up. Out of the eye hatch, the head of IRS walks out. His name is Capitalsaurus.
Capitalsaurus: It’s the Seized Tax Audit eXecutor. S.T.A.X. for short. This is where your tax money has been going lately, at least should have been going…
He gives Nodosaurus a dirty look.
Capitalsaurus: You three have proved quite annoying I must say. But at last I caught.
The Dude: He’s the one who evades Taxes! I didn’t do anything wrong!
Nodosaurus: Come on, dude…
Gryposaurus: Not cool man…
Capitalsaurus: *laughs* Do you have any idea how much damage you caused today? Who’s gonna pay for that!
Gryposaurus: I mean to be fair, most of it was your robots…
Capitalsaurus: Because you resisted! We could have left you off with a little warning, but you chose to be difficult. Now back to you…
The Dude: Me?
Capitalsaurus: Yes. You.
He pauses briefly.
Capitalsaurus: You thought you were slick? Didn’t you? Bailing out of a bounty that we had already paid a percentage of the price in advance for? So rude. To make it worse, you planned to profit of us, by exposing government secrets!
The Dude: *nervous* What are you talking about?
Capitalsaurus: I’m talking about the robot head you stole, idiot.
The Dude: You’re making shit up!
Capitalsaurus: Am I?
S.T.A.X. displays a recording from the Tax Bot’s head. Shoving how The Dude tears it off the robot and stares at it.
The Dude: I wonder what kind of information do those guys have on them… Government secrets can be sold for a hefty sum…
The recording then shows him shoving it into the backpack, the screen fading to black, before the holographic image dissapears.
The Dude: I uhh, I know nothing about this, that video was AI generated!
Capitalsaurus replies, ignoring his accusation.
Capitalsaurus: I would honestly kill you for this, if you haven’t helped me out accidentally. With that severed head on your ship, we were able to pin-point your exact location. Thank you for making your capture easier. It may have just been impossible otherwise.
Nodosaurus: WAIT A MINUTE! So we only got caught because you got greedy!
The Dude: Well I didn’t do that on purpose!
Nodosaurus: That just makes you an idiot.
The Dude: Come on, how can you not respect the hussle?
Capitalsaurus: Ok, I probably wouldn’t have killed you anyway… cause you 3 owe us money now. And I can’t extract it from you when you’re all dead.
Gryposaurus: But… we’re broke, how are we gonna pay up?
Capitalsaurus: I know… that’s why I said, I’ll extract value from you.
Nodosaurus: What the fuck does that mean?!
Capitalsaurus: *laughs again* Oh… you’ll see
The theropod walks back inside S.T.A.X., the eye hatch closes and the robot resumes advancing towards them. Nodosaurus ignites his lightsaber, going into a battle stance. The Dude grabs his blaster rifle and tries shooting the robot, but all the rounds deflect off the steel. S.T.A.X. slams his fist down into the crashed ship, breaking it and causing the 3 to fall beneath the waves. They struggle against the violent waves, until they get grabbed by S.T.A.X., saving them from drowning, but not like saving them in general if you get what I mean.
TO BE CONTINUED.
