“What do you think you’re doing?” Stated the seaman as he stared at the fellow going on his boat. The pterosaur was peach colored with a harpoon-colored beak. The crest on top of his head seemed to be ripped in two, with the spine being black and the remaining part of the once flamboyant crest being a seafoam blue. He cocked his head at the seaman, turning to face the dromaeosaur.
“Goin’ after the beast that did this to me,” he started. “Tylos Dick. That leviathan shall be slaughtered. By me!” He chuckled a bit as the dromaeosaur got another good look at him. One wing was there, but the other was halfway gone. Most of the wing membrane was gone and everything past the claws was made of ivory.
“Why do you want to go back after him? After all, he did… that to you.”
“Because I want revenge. And he’s the only beastie I haven’t slain yet. A stain on my record. Once I kill him, the seas will be able to be transversed by all, thanks to me. Captain Geo!”
The dromaeosaur sighed as he stared back as he stared at Captain Geo. “Will you bring more people?” he asked, wondering how long this’d take. The pterosaur nodded. The dromaeosaur sighed again, turning to leave before a bag was thrown to his feet. Looking inside via his sickle claw, he noticed some gold coins. Moving his head back into the direction of Captain Geo, the pterosaur chuckled.
“I’d assume you know this ship better than anyone else. Come with me and the crew matey,” he stated, smirking while chuckling again and extending his ivory wing. The seaman smiled, extending his arm to shake the pterosaur’s wing, chuckling himself.
“Name’s Tolis. Nice to join your crew”.
—- —- —-
The crew moved forth, and after a week they reached the edge of Tylos Dick’s domain, deep in the center of the oceans at the Primordial Abyss.
“Here we are men,” started Captain Geo, looking over the bow of the ship. “This is the home of that albino leviathan”. Turning around to face the crew once more, he abruptly stopped and stared back out over the bow. Thunder had rolled in and the waves were slowing down.
Suddenly, from in front of the boat, a beast breached the surface, bellowing his rule. An albino mosasaur, seemingly a hundred times larger than the vessel, covered in battle scars and chunks taken out of his dorsal fin and fluke, splashed back down into the water before turning to face the bow head on. Tylos Dick had arrived.
Staring at his enemy, Captain Geo screamed.
(Play: Blood & Thunder by Mastodon. 2:12 in, or here:)
Running back to the crew, Captain Geo ran towards them, grabbing a harpoon. “BREAK YOUR BACKS AND CRACK YOUR OARS, MEN!” While the crew started doing so, they noticed the pterosaur turning back to Tylos Dick with the harpoon. “THIS IVORY WING IS WHAT PROPELS ME!” The captain started a full gallop, reaching the bow with the harpoon in his hands. “Aim directly for his crooked brow,” he instructed them whilst running, and when he reached the bow, he jumped. “AND LOOK HIM STRAIGHT IN THE EYE!”
Tylos Dick, who had turned to get a better look started to not look as his eye was stabbed. Roaring in pain, Tylos Dick breached out off the water once more as Captain Geo lost the harpoon’s landing in the leviathan’s eye, before stabbing it by his tooth.
Tolis, still on the ship, started gathering the crew to get ready to shoot, but the mosasaur went beneath the waves… with the captain. The crew started panicking, with one member even getting onto the crude wooden escape raft before the rage of the waves brought him to a watery grave, though it returned Captain Geo and a tooth of Tylos Dick to the raft.
The crew started to cheer, but then they stopped, as Tylos Dick came from below, snapping the ship in two and sinking both halves, before resurfacing and turning to face Captain Geo. The captain snarled as something chuckled. Looking around in confusion, Geo realized the sound was coming from Tylos Dick himself, who did so whilst feeling the space where his tooth once was.
(Make sure Blood & Thunder has ended by now)
“Well, well, well,” started the Leviathan. “You dare stand against me? How brave,”
“Go to hell!” screamed Captain Geo, staring at him. “You are a devil! A beast that should not stand against me!”
“Well, technically I’m swimming,” stated Tylos Dick, still looking at Captain Geo, though starting to circle around the raft. “You cannot kill me with puny tools like harpoons. I am a Primordial. A ruler. I am the king of the oceans!”
“So?” asked Geo, not really caring about that lore drop. “I will try with all the power at my disposal, you demon! If you wish to taunt me, then kill me already!”
Tylos Dick chuckled. “Sure then,” he started. “Just prepare for pain”. The mosasaur turned away and went some distance before being directly in front of the raft, his red eyes gleaming and lightning showcasing the nearly hundred-meter distance between them.
Tylos Dick charged, breaching out of the water and opened his mouth, roaring, ready to devour. Captain Geo roared as well, but held out the tooth and aimed it at his rival. Lightning flashed.
A sound of thunder. Or perhaps not. They were both gone.
—- —- —-
“...And that is the tale of Tylos Dick, based on what we can figure out from this inscription,” stated Athena, pointing at some text on a massive tooth in a glass case. A Dimetrodon stared at it in awe, before turning to the Dilophosaurus who explained it. “Is that really the case?” he asked, wondering about this legend. Athena shrugged. “We’re highly unsure about this, Snowball. It’s based on just two lines of dialogue, and even then, we have no idea how this inscription came to be. Captain Geo, if he existed, wouldn’t have been able to write this, even if he won.”
Snowball stared back at the tooth. “I wonder how he’d think about the story today,” looking back at Athena, he smiled. “Well, Tylos Dick is gone, or at least in hiding, so we’re able to explore the world now, not having to worry about him”. Athena chuckled then gestured for Snowball to follow as they continued forth on their tour of the museum.
______
It is done!
Well, what do you guys think? Do you all find Tylos Dick to be cool? Should I continue the universe thing? What story should I parody next, and if I do, got suggestions? Should Animal Farm or Dante's Inferno be next? Would you smash? Would you put this in a book fair? Would you read this to a child? Should I make art for this stuff?
Remember to subscribe and like the video! See y'all in the next one(if I make more story parodies)
