@JustanPaleoartist2 @Fabulous Mothman @0bjectraptor 3 @Hermit's Boulevard @MimikBoogTube @11duckhunt @Ksalmon123 @Tyrann0saur125 @EpicThoradolosaur7782 @Avalancher734 @Shieldon.BAH @Bajadasaurus234 @BaryonyxLover9870 @PrimalApex2.0 @Triceratops Prorsus @OceanStudios @Ankysareawesome @Alphastar Art @Drake the dino nerd 2 @Concaventor Wrangler @Godzillasaurus AEgyptiancus @Cosy loves games n' stuff @Therizinosaurus 2.0 @LynxSoott @The Vulture of Gloom @Jairus1234 @KyleTheSuperMechaGodzilla @Friendly Kelbeam of the Hood @Interstellar Voyager @ScaryLookinHobo @SD-Kiryu the Solver MechaGodzilla @SillyGoober545 @Dinoguy22
So, like, a really long time ago...back when the Gaymes were still in their infancy, and when SWBs dominated the Semi-Canon...
Ophiacodon is challenged by Bageherpeton to say Zimbabwe three times fast backwards, and proceeds to explode.
Our promising protag Lexovi is shot from behind by Paranthodon…WITH A STEEL CHAIR! His corpse ragdolls. The chair-wielding Paranth laugh-taunts his fallen victim.
Titanosuchus: You will no longer distract me like this!
Ankyloogway: Oh yeah? Fine, whoever wins this round of Mapusaurus Kart 65 gets to live.
Titanosuchus: Okay.
Oxalaia looks at the wheel on his watch, conveniently with all their names on it. The watch flashes with a certificate of cancer. “I think I have developed a cancer!” Oxalaia pulls the certificate out of the watch, before the watch turns into the Omnitrix, and the Ben-10 theme plays.
He begins scrolling through the choices of death, before slapping “Death Type: Cancer” and making his corpse ragdoll backwards.
Irritator is blabbing on and on about random pieces of trivial information, causing Protathlitis to slap him. “Shut up. I see why your name is Irritator.” “I see why your name is Protathlitis.” “What? Why?” “Because you sound like a disease.” This bomb of truth absolutely wrecks Protathlitis, who walks away sadly.
Ankyloogway: Shoulda brought my SPF 3 trillion sunscreen
Sir Pepperoni: But that garbage clogs pores, and is hated by all dermatologists ever!
Ankyloogway: Damn.
Sir Pepperoni: Look, over there! Such tomfoolery!
Ankyloogway: That Siamosaurus just overdosed on pills.
Titanosuchus: Oh no!
Ankyloogway: Oh no indeed.
...
...
...
...
Sir Pepperoni: What the fuck!? How did you infiltrate the dialogue?
Titanosuchus: Good question.
Ankyloogway: How dare you sneak up on us before we could sneak up on you!
Cristatusaurus pulls up on Ostafrikasaurus and pulls a gun on her. “Listen here, vampire, this gun is loaded with pure silver bullets!” Ostafrikasaurus looks at the gun and bends the barrel, to which Cristatusaurus laughs. “It’ll burst out the end facing you anyways!” “Well no, this is Tyrant Universe, therefore logic doesn’t logic. Game over, choom.” Cristatusaurus holds up one finger, pulls out the roster, changes his legal name to Statue, and turns into stone.
Titanosuchus: Congrats on winning. Join me, and this will never happen to you again.
Sir Pepperoni: Don’t trust him! He’s a bad guy and is messing with the vibes!
Valli: I hate vibe-messers.
Ichthyo: Messers isn’t a word!
Ankyloogway: He killed your family.
Valli: I hate family murderers!
Ichthyo: I hate it when you say you hate something!
Titanosuchus: Yeah, it’s annoying, please stop.
Valli: Damn. Oh hey, real dialogue! We’re actually talki-
Ichthyo: Shut up! We will never join you, stupid therapist!
Ankyloogway: That’s a therapsith, not a therapist!
Titanosuchus: I’m so offended I can’t even speak.
Spinosaurus: In my family, we're all either named something weird or something boring. My name will be Spiny.
Vectispinus: I nominate myself Vector!
Ichthyovenator: Son of a bitch, you are not him! Oh well, my name is Grinch.
Valli: All of your guys' names are weird! My name is Valter K. Light-Grey.
H.Z: You all are giving me a migraine.
Ostafrika: Also I'm alive. I'll just go as Charlie.
Gigacroc: ...I am confused. Are we just picking names?
Cryolophosaurus: It is good day to drink bottle o' Scrumpeh!
Sinornithosaurus: I want some!
Antarctopelta! Shut up! That bottle isn't real!
Cryolophosaurus: Ya know what? Neither is the prison.
...It fucking works. It's as if she's magic.
Antarctopelta: Aren't there rules against shit like this?
Sinornithosaurus: My guy, you are saying this in a universe where we've been deported to space hell because of the Great Desolation, which may I remind you has Titans from an anime series beating the living shit out of Metal Gears, I don't think there are rules against magic.
Olorotitan: I want to go home!
Dakotaraptor: Yeah.
Kentrosaurus: Bruh this dialogue bro
Cryolophosaurus: I have a stupid idea! Let's overthrow the legal system!
Everybody shuts up and looks at her.
Sinornithosaurus: But how?
Cryolophosaurus: Well, step 1, crash this ship. Step 2, go home. Step 3, I have no idea.
Hatzegopteryx: Listen here boys, we're going in for another space raid!
*various pterosaur cheers*
Geosternbergia: Can I pluck out our victims' eyeballs?
Dimorphodon: If you can get to them first! Bwahahahahaha!
Ikrandraco: *thoughts*You all suck. Good thing I've sabotaged the mission for good this time.
Thalassodromeus: *thoughts* Whatever Ikran's planning, it's bad.
Hatzegopteryx: Ya ready boys?
*various pterosaur cheers*
Hatzegopteryx: For ever a pterosaur pirate!
All except Ikran and Thalass: ARRR! ROAAWK!
Sinornithosaurus: We got pirates!
Olorotitan: Pie rats!? Again?
Kentrosaurus: Bruh. *pokes his head out the window* Yep, pirates.
Cryolophosaurus: But we only have dirt! The only other thing we have are the scales on our backs!
Dakotaraptor: We got ambushers on the other side. This is Panthera Formation, I'd recognize it anywhere.
Olorotitan: You worked for the military?
Dakotaraptor: I was the calvary in my squadron. They were all gunned down in Morrison by filthy sauropods. I was captured, sold for two cents and a gum wrapper, then deported.
Kentrosaurus: What's the difference between Morrison Formation and Panthera formation?
Sinornithosaurus: The difference is that if the formation is named after a place, it's fine, but if it's named after an animal or a funny letter, it's something the military uses.
Cryptocleidus: Sir! MMPRSMS incoming!
Albertonectus #1: Dear god...
Kronosaurus #1: What the painis is that?
Cryptocleidus: Massive Marine Prehistoric Reptile Singing a Meme Song!
Shonisaurus #1: How long until he gets here?
Cryptocleidus: He's coming in too fast! GET TO THE BUNKER!
Simosaurus: Sir! Pliosaurus inbound!
Nothosaurus #1: But I'm not ready to get funkei!
Nothosaurus #2: I'm not ready for Freddy!
Simosaurus: Every day, I want to punt someone more and more.
Lariosaurus #1: Launching all of our most effective warheads at the threat!
Simosaurus: NOOOOOOO DON'T DO IT-
Gastonia: Attention! We have a mission! You are to scout the Mariner system immediately! Check every planet except Dante, and check every moon except Dante's moon, Inferno.
Nodosaurus novice #1: Dante's Inferno reference?
Gastonia:
And now for some actual Gaymes and shit
Eoraptor: AWAY, BEASTS!
Saurolophus: Bruh.
Pachy: Share the fire please.
Eoraptor: I won't just share it with you. You'll have to pry it from my cold dead a-
Charonosaurus: AYOOOOOO
Discord: *slams table* Where are our combatants?
Monika: I wouldn't know. I live in your X-box.
Spring Bonnie: I thought you were a security program.
Cyn: Bonnie!
Discord: Welp, we're stuck with her forever. At least she ain't Mik-
Spring Bonnie: DO NOT SAY THE WORD! There is a flying robot space hobo who will murder you for tricking him into thinking that "the gal" was here!
Angel Dust: Why am I here?
Cyn: Why is Angel Dust here?
Discord: Why IS Angel Dust here?
Koro-Sensei: Shut up.
Lipectomy Godzilla: Uh, sir?
Neo-Legend: Yes?
Lipectomy Godzilla: Why do you despise the Japanese this much?
Neo-Legend: ...they disowned me. Disowned us. All because we agreed to be in Fortnite.
Lipectomy Godzilla: That's f*cking stupid!
Zilla '98: Heya!
Neo-Legend: Also because Bioghidorah is an abomination, and who knows what else they're trying to cook up in their horrid labs!
Zilla: Hey! I'm over here!
Lipectomy Godzilla: Okay, that is valid. OH HELL, WE GOT AXES ON OUR REAR!
Zilla: WE TOILED IN GOD'S TOILET! *girly scream*
ChocoBonnie: Yes!
Lambeosaurus: No!
Evil Ogerpon: Rip his balls off!
*general arguing*
It's called "Doofus ignoramus" (C&H reference), and if you didn't know about it, you are crossdressing English mailbox! -American Boot, the Hippie Painis of War, a hit non-fiction military book about how to stop robot unicorns from capturing Scotland!
Darcy: I ripped a man's balls off once. Then, I flayed him alive and used his tanned leather to make the bench you're sitting on.
Alpha and Aval (L+ratio)
???: Welcome!
Miku: Who are you!? What do you want?
Indoraptor Generation 2 Level 40: I'm just a simple gal who needs money. My distant relative the Consultant wants my head. (then again, Consultant Indoraptor wants everyone dead)
Ah yes, the Consultant is related to the main antagonist from the first half of the cringest season. Episode 7 of Season 2 doesn't exist btw, it's non-canon
TO BE CONTINU-oh, sorry, Chibi Mothra wants Battra to let her do the outro instead.
𝓣𝓸 𝓫𝓮 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓾𝓮𝓭 <𝟑
Neolamia: What's this "Great Birb Desolation"? What the hell is the "Cart Titan", and why does it look disgusting!?
The Nest was pretty balls anyways. -Phantom Freddy/Semi-Canon Studios meme lord
IndoG2: Ahh. So that's the way it's going to be, then?
Mihiku: *glares*
IndoG2: Okay, we're not friends!
Ah yes, Mihiku, the balance between the Space Hobo Cult's goddess Matsune Hiku and the Chosen One.
IndoGen2: I was wrong. Leave, now. Before he claims you too. Do not squander it!
They lock eyes, reptile to Vocaloid.
IndoGen2: The legacy I leave you. Now, go!
Miku runs, and IndoGen2 closes her eyes as the building collapses, leaving her on the ground. Miku looks back, briefly. The crime boss is beheaded in one clean stroke by an almost-identical figure with a katana and a bandana. Tears in her eyes, the Chosen One secures the last ship and flees the ruined asteroid fighting ring.
Consultant Indoraptor: *chuckles* What a curious little girl.
He looks into the eyes of his dead "sister".
Consultant Indoraptor: I expected more from you, but I guess family can be a bigger letdown than life itself. Honestly, it doesn't matter. One more victim on the list, one more notch on my blade. I'll kill them all, sister. You'll see each other soon, don't worry. *chuckles*
(the Consultant was pretty badass here imo, even if this shit is literally SEMI-Canon.)
To this day, I haven't figured out what Spinosaurus of the Flight Logs really was.
2B CONTINUED! (hehe, Gemini, see what I did there? 2B! To be! Get it?)
Yes, Battra, we get it. Haha funny reference. Eat your yogurt.
NO!
1/2CWGoji: Alright, Mutineer, prepare to taste Japanese justice. If you think about cheating and so much as try to, your head will be mine.
Neo-Legend: What makes you so sure? You do realize the last time Japan was part of a group called Axis, they lost?
1/2CWGoji: And that led to Godzilla's creation. We are not so different, you and I.
Bagan: I'm bouta Oxygen Destroy YOUR Bagan UTS!
Megalon *from afar*: Hey, it's a callback to a Season 1 episode!
Gigan: It's also a testicle pun.
Megalon: What?
Gigan: Say it fast.
Megalon: Oxygendestroyingthatbaganuts
Gigan: See?
Megalon: Oxygen destroying that bag o' nuts? OH MY GOD-
Gigan: *smirk*
Ultraman Man: That's it, I'm revoking your rights.
Heisei Gamera: No, no, let them keep their rights. Strap them to four horses and delimb them instead.
Showa Gigan: Aw shit, here we go again-
I am fully convinced I wrote Season 2 while I was on crack. I don't do crack, but looking back, this is full of crack-induced mania.
King Caesar: Yawn. Good morning.
Biollante: Good morning.
King Caesar: So, if you're trans, what gender are you today?
Biollante: It's a mood thing. I'll tell you when I can actually decide.
Kiryu: 'Sup?
The other two stare at MechaGodzilla Kiryu from the Millennium era film Tokyo S.O.S. of the Godzilla franchise that belongs to Toho of Japan.
King Caesar: Why are you here this time?
Kiryu: My little pets escaped my simulated planet.
Biollante: You mean that terrarium with the funny small robots?
Kiryu: Yeah, and now I can't find them :(
King Caesar: Maybe don't label the only entrance with a gap under the door large enough to fit your silly little autistic robots "DO NOT CRAWL UNDER" next time.
Kiryu: But Caesar! Drones can't read!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thot Slayer: ...?
Nagan: Welcome back, bitch.
Thot Slayer: Where...?
Nagan: We're no longer on Dante's Inferno, nor are we in the Hollow Earth.
Thot Slayer: ...What?
Nagan: Basically, you did well enough in a simulation that me and several other individuals have elected to canonically resurrect you.
Thot Slayer: Why...?
Nagan: Shut up and walk, bitch.
Thot Slayer: Uh, really quick.
Nagan: What is it now?
Thot Slayer: MY FUCKING LEGS!
Meanwhile...
Dr. Livesey: This is not looking good for you, Yi.
Yi Xi: *chained to a hospital bed* Let me the fuck out of here.
Dr. Livesey: No can do, you need an intervention on this highly unhealthy lifestyle!
Yi Xi: Unhealthy!? I'm perfectly healthy!
Dr. Livesey: *looking at a pair of x-rays* Well, actually no, your bones are showing high build-ups of mercury and lead, probably from all that locally-sourced human meat you've been eating!
Yi Xi: You're telling me that I'm suffering from metal poisoning?
Dr. Livesey: Your habits, your actions, and your mannerisms seem to indicate so.
Yi Xi: Who the hell even are you?
Dr. Livesey: I'm the one they call...when things go wrong.
Yi Xi: I'm going to kill you!
Dr. Livesey: No, you won't.
Yi suddenly lunges from the hospital bed, cleaver in hand, but Livesey catches it with two fingers.
Dr. Livesey: I'm a joke character, which means I am of course one of the strongest characters to ever exist. Now please sit back down in the chair before I fold you like one.
Yi Xi: What-
Dr. Livesey punches Yi right in the gut with at least Ultra-tier strength, blasting the wall behind her right to pieces. Yi flies through the hole in the wall and hits a metal pole outside, knocking her unconscious.
Dr. Livesey: Perhaps this may have been just a little too much strength.
Damnit Freeman!
Arachniphobe Fatalis real
Emily, GxK was LAST YEAR
Damn vro Red King is out, it's up to Red King and Red King to hold up the Red King name in the Slumber Gaymes, especially Red King and Red King in this episode, because Red King and Red King are carrying Red King and the Red King name
Shockwave's move was...most logical.
A01 has been a menace in the practice rounds. Damn, Keylla just got hit with the G1 Blitzwing.
Damn it, Red King's down! We need you, Red King!
Amphibian-on-amphibian amphibiancide
Cretaceous back at it again!
It's Super Gatanothover for the Ultraman kaiju this gayme.
Emily is...most illogical.
Chin
A sad end to the A M P H I B I A N, but expected none the less. I still haven't worked out that coding issue.
Starscream = Worker Cyn = The Leader and/or Neo-Legendary. Powerscaling moment.
Someone's cranky.
Two badasses and a bug kill two badasses and a plush.
SCP-116 had better made sure it was truck-proof.
The dead this round are:
Incineroar (shame, he's one of my tertiary mains in SSBU)
Antarct. Awakening Ghidorah (yes, they're Ghidorah)
🏱︎♋︎♍︎♒︎⍓︎♍︎♏︎◻︎♒︎♋︎●︎□︎⬧︎♋︎◆︎❒︎◆︎⬧︎ ⬥︎♓︎⧫︎♒︎ ♋︎ ☝︎🕆︎☠︎ (damn shame)
Barsboldia
Red King (he's ultra dead :( big sadge)
O C E A N M A N
Keylla (built a bridge and jumped off it)
Fasolasuchus
Ellen
Sinosauropteryx
Viras
Metal Tails
Tigrex
Red King (of the East Blue)
Arkveld
Shin Godzilla
John Freeman (didn't even get to live a half life)
Fire Rodan
German Funtime Freddy
Udanoceratops
Metoposaurus (fat fucker got what she deserved)
Super Gatanothor
Thot Slayer (we're taking him outta the Gaymes, bro deserves a rest after the Episode 6 trilogy)
Dreadnoughtus
Spike
Emily
Glavenus
Kurt
Shockwave
Groudon
The A M P H I B I A N (r.i.p. bro)
Godzilla -1
Fat fuck
Monoblos
Thot Slayer: What am I to do with this new life I've been granted?
Nagan: Idfk, go find more thots to slay!
Thot Slayer: I'm beginning to feel like I'm a joke.
Nagan: You want to be taken seriously?
Thot Slayer: Bitch I'm a professional in cooking and in first aid!
Nagan: Ironic for someone whose title and whole reason for existing was to kill anime girls.
Thot Slayer: Bitch-
Nagan: I should stop stalling.
Thot Slayer: What-
Thot Slayer is suddenly transported back to the mortal realm.
Thot Slayer: Oh. Hmm...
He feels around his chest for the Reality Stone, and is angry when he finds it missing.
Thot Slayer: Damnit...someone looted my corpse...
???: Ack!
Thot Slayer looks over as the Atragon (2004) swerves to avoid him. Using his natural senses, Thot Slayer detects the presence of an anime girl inside the ship: Hatsune Miku, the Chosen.
Thot Slayer: Thought you could escape me!?
Archie Tails: All hands on deck!
Flying Tank: *sad tank noises*
Thot Slayer manifests his giant gem sphere and begins flying after the Atragon.
Red King so based that not even A01 or Cretaceous wants to hurt him.
Absolutely abyssmal, Alice. Absolutely garbage, Yi. You both have disappointed me
Nooooooooo, not Bagan the badass! NOOOOOOOOOO!
Let me guess...Kumonga was DRIVING IN HIS CAR-
Cyn I remember your genocides
Aw widdle A01 is an eepy weepy sleepy!
That's pretty unbelievable, my king invited a king of the Cretaceous into a shelter, and as if by fate, they didn't kill him!
The dead this round are:
Shi's Bagan (literally too good for this world)
Are we flocking serious (Prorsus, this child has carried you this match)
Starscream (damn)
Alice (damn it)
Yi Xi (damn it all)
SCP-116 (was hit by a car going 100 mph)
Kumonga (next thing you know, he'll be writing a list of everything wrong he's ever done and try to be a better person. Then, he'll make a TV show about it)
Akechi
Sinornithosaurus: Wowie! Look!
Cryolophosaurus: What do you see, Sino?
Sinornithosaurus: Cryolophosaurus Jacks the Legal System of Tyrantia relevancy in the big '25!
Kentrosaurus: We're so back lads.
Olorotitan: I'll get the apple juice!
Ikrandraco: Who are those guys over there?
He points to a group of seemingly random members off to the left.
Olorotitan: I think they're the Ankyloogway's Way cast?
Kentrosaurus: How can you tell?
Olorititan: The Gigantspinosaurus is dapper as FUCK-
Dakotaraptor: Sounds about right. Hold on, gotta make a phone call.
Over in the other group...
Armaldo: Who are those people?
Ankyloogway: I do not know, but one of them wields a great power I have never seen.
Silvally: That's nice.
Vector Vectispinus: Yo, foxy, get off the phone!
H.Z.: Shut up!
Dakotaraptor: Yo, H.Z! How ya been?
H.Z.: Oh, I've been good, you?
Dakotaraptor: Good, good...Where are you right now?
H.Z.: Oh, you know, just sitting in a swamp with the groupies.
Dakotaraptor: Really? Same! Except my groupies think they can see your groupies.
H.Z.: Oh, really? I can kinda see other people off to the right...
Dakotaraptor: Alright, don't move.
Dakotaraptor promptly screams and fires an AK-47 into the air. H.Z. looks over and sees the gunfire.
Dakotaraptor: What'd you think?
H.Z.: Hmm. definitely American. See you in a bit!
Dakotaraptor: Alright!
H.Z.: We should definitely go to the other group.
Sir Pepperoni Salami McBuckingham XVI: And why is that?
H.Z.: I know those people.
Ankyloogway: No, we will not blow our cover. Titanosuchus could be anywhere!
Titanosuchus: I think you should definitely go talk to the other group!
Armaldo: That sounds like a wonderful idea! Thank you, dark and evilly menacing therapist!
Titanosuchus: It's THERAPSITH, not THERAPIST. But you're welcome! :D *flies away*
Ankyloogway: I guess we're going to talk to that other group then.
.
.
.
Ankyloogway: TITANOSUCHUS YOU SON OF A BITCH!
A01 is honestly just a guy.
Watch Cyn frickin' die this next round.
Anorith you filthy scum
The dead this round are:
Wakasa-chan
Alphastar
Wheatley
Dimorphodon
Galvantula
Varan (his death was unbelievable)
Worker Cyn
Dr. Livesey: *casually taping Yi Xi to the hospital bed* There is literally nothing to put here.
Starscream: Will the Important Later Squad-
Dr. Livesey: I am going to stop you from finishing that sentence before you sound stupid.
Starscream: But-
Dr. Livesey: It is not your time.
Cretaceous, you're on break
Sponsors had nothing else to give.
Nothing important from Day 4 aside from Cret, DMB, A01, and one other dying.
Zilla: I did it! I actually won!
Varan, Zilla, and the A M P H I B I A N tied for first with 5 kills each
Archie Tails: Hold on!
The Atragon swerves to avoid all of Thot Slayer's blows. Thot Slayer, fueled by his primordial hatred of anime girls, keeps running faster. Ankyloogway's and Cryolophosaurus' group have merged into an awkward congregation of dinosaurs and others. Pliosaurus sees the Atragon and gets an idea.
Pliosaurus: What if we.
Armaldo: We what?
Pliosaurus: *points at the Atragon* What if we.
Ikrandraco: I don't follow.
Charlie the Ostafrikosaurus: I think he means "board the ship"?
Ankyloogway: Non.
Cryolophosaurus: And why not?
Ankyloogway: You are too extraordinarily strong. I refuse to get on the same ship as you!
Cryolophosaurus: Rude! You're just jealous because you Jedisaurs aren't the only protagonist dinosaurs with powers!
Ankyloogway: My girl, you are literally a walking time bomb. Besides, it looks like they're-
The Atragon shoots a tractor beam at the group, teleporting them aboard the ship. Thot Slayer puts the spear away and pulls out a chain whip like Scorpion's from Mortal Kombat and strikes the ship, secretly implanting a tracker into it. The submarine enters hyperdrive, and zooms away.
Thot Slayer: You may have evaded me, Chosen One, but I will have your head on my wall. It will go right above my sink, so I can look at it while washing my hands!
He coughs up a chunk of rusty iron ore.
Thot Slayer: But for now, I have an Infinity Stone to reclaim.
Some loose ends tied up and made relevant briefly, the episode ends with two new groups aboard the Atragon! With Thot Slayer back alive, what will happen next?
Thot Slayer: Well, let's see, uh...
Dr. Livesey: Why are you interrupting the exposition?
Thot Slayer: Yes.
Bagan DARK: Another suboptimal episode where at least one part of the episode thumbnail is irrelevant.
Thot Slayer: Don't worry. You'll get your arc. As soon as Ultraman Belial is relevant.
Ultraman Belial: What the fuck is wrong with you!?
Bagan DARK: *sigh* This series is ass.
Dr. Livesey: Since when was it anything more?
TO BE CONTINUUU-
Battra, shut up!
Jesus, Battra!
Fine. Be that way. >:(
Oh damn.
He still hasn't eaten his goddamn yogurt.
