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Last time, on Slumber Gayme Z!
SpaceGodzilla of the unreleased comedy series "On Monster Island", which the rest of the kaiju of this season are from too, is in Dainashi Supermarket from the hit show Chibi Godzilla Raids Again. He reaches for the last jar of clearance pickles when a bone whip comes flying out of nowhere and snatches it from him.
SpaceGodzilla: Nooooooo! My pickles!
Skar King: I think you meant MY pickles!
Chibi Ichi: What?
Skar King: Ring...the bell.
Chibi Ni: Are you mad!? It's almost discount hour!
SpaceGodzilla: You heard him.
Chibi San: Ooooooh! It's the tradition.
Chibi Ichi: An odd time for the tradition, but who are we to deny the tradition?
Chibi Ni: We will only add one rule. But fine. The tradition will begin at the beginning of discount hour.
Edward probably supports SD-Vstroyah ship.
Ribbon: What dinosaur is this?
The Hippie Painis of War, written by TF2 Freak American Boot from STBlackST's channel: This is a maggot! He is French crouton!
Ribbon: Wha-
The newest Goji Center video: Mario vs. Slumber Gaymes: Why Luigi has a better survival rate explained
Kong: And that's how I befriended an Ekrixinatosaurus, then saved the universe from cowboy Bagan and an eternal war. What did you do?
Ceratosaurus: I slaughtered everyone in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I am the reason why Future Trunks will never know peace. I am the beginning and the end. I have survived the Loop intact, and I am the culmination of all that my species is, was, and will be.
Kong: Real.
SpaceGodzilla: Chump-
Shadow: Nice bread.
SpaceGodzilla: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Skar King: YOU ASSHOLE!
SpaceGodzilla: EAT A DI-
SpaceGodzilla promptly crashes somewhere in the toiletries section, which makes Skar King laugh a little before yoinking Space's cookies with his whip and running.
Semi-Canon Prom Doll: Where's Triclyde?
Mr. Void Ghidorah: He went to heaven.
Kong: GIGAN, WHEN I SAID YOU SHOULD KISS HIM, IT WAS A JOKE!
FWGigan: Shut up! You wouldn't know if someone was hot if they had a crowd of fans!
Shin Ghidorah: Gigan's my queen! You have a problem, punk!?
Kong: WHEN I SAID GAY, I MEANT HAPPY, NOT HOMOSEXUAL!
FWGigan: Too late now, motherfucker. Oh princess, whisk me away.
Shin Ghidorah: K.
Kong: Tari. Tari, check the camera. Tari, are you stupid? Tari!
Tari: Shut up! Stop being a backseat driver!
SD-J: Bar*hic*tender, what's in my *hic* drink?
Rebirth Mosa: Pure, concentrated Vuzi shipping.
SD-J; My wive wuld nevah be lezbin for a bi*hic* like Uiii...i...i...i... *falls over and dies of alcohol poisoning*
Rebirth Mosa: Hmm. Wait, no, not Vuzi shipping. Tetrodotox- aaand she's dead. Wait, your WIFE!?
-----
SD-J: Wah! Where am I?
Sinosauropteryx: Welcome to the Respawn Lobby. We're here in these specific chairs because we died of alcohol.
SD-J: Wuh-
Sinosauropteryx: You'll probably be brought back. I'm gonna stay here until Mimik either brings me back or gives the okay for me to be erased, forever just an alcohol-scented memory.
SpaceGodzilla: *reads the episode title* Okay so I knew there was gonna be an Indoraptor...
Indoraptor: Surprise...
SpaceGodzilla: So why the hell is there *points at a Gen 2 next to the dropped salad* a second Indoraptor?
Rebirth Mosa: What am I doing here?
Other Rebirth Mosa: Hello everyone, welcome to Film Theory, where we are going to SCIENTIFICALLY PROVE that Serial Designation V and Destoroyah are a match made in heaven using actual sci-
Rebirth Mosa: no
Rebirth Mosa shoots the phone, the backup phone, the camera, the computer, then himself.
Lizzy: But- but- how did a SQUID win!?
Tusoteuthis: I'm just a better lifeform.
Springtraponotosaurus: do you work for postosuchus who i dont know is postman?
Tusoteuthis: What? No. I'm a squid. I don't get job opportunities.
Chibi Ichi: TIME IS UP! Discount hour is over! The tradition is over! Challengers, please present your shopping lists and carts to the self-checkout!
Indoraptor: This was all a freaking game!?
SpaceGodzilla: It wasn't. It's the tradition.
Indoraptor: What tradition?
Skar King: Prepare for embarrassment, loser.
SpaceGodzilla: Oh really? I'm going to dethrone you so bad even your mother won't know it's you!
Skar King: I stoned my mother to death. She was even crueler than I was.
SpaceGodzilla: So being a total dick runs in the family.
Chibi San: Titanus Tiamat.
Chibi Ichi: Lady of the Lake-
Tiamat: Just call me Tiamat. What is it? I hear Lahamu crying.
Chibi Ni: We need you to determine who wins the tradition.
Tiamat: You can't be seri- *glances over* what in the name of-
Chibi Ichi: They chose to hold the tradition during discount hour.
Tiamat: Oh. Oh my. I'll help right away.
Ultraman Belial from several mountaintops away: I am the Ultraman villain Ultraman Belial from the Ultraman series where I am Ultraman villain Ultraman Belial!
---------------
Doll: Nice road.
Heisei Gamera: Thanks, it's maintained quite well.
DevilArtemis Cell: Wassup?
Heisei Gamera: We have a newbie.
DevilArtemis Cell: First one in weeks!
Doll: Who's the bug man?
Heisei Gamera: That's Cell, specifically DevilArtemis/TeamFourStar's Cell.
DevilArtemis Cell: So, how'd you die?
Doll: I committed suicide after being dropped into a death match.
DA Cell: Metal as hell. As it turns out, did you know that Gohan is strong? Like, really strong?
Doll: Uh...I guess?
Heisei Gamera: Well Mr. Perfect Cell over here died to a cheap shot in the crotch. Not that he has any balls anyways.
DA Cell: You take that back!
Heisei Gamera: Or what?
Cell proceeds to bitchslap Doll several kilometers, throwing her into the Artist Department and knocking her out cold.
Heisei Gamera: You fucker! You took the "welcoming slap" from me!
Cell: What did I say? I warned you to take it back. Besides, you left her open.
ORTHOchromatic Shin-kun: WHO THE HELL DROPPED A RUSSIAN IN MY SOUP!?
Cell: I gotta go, bye.
Heisei Gamera: YOU DICK!
EVA-01: What the hell?
Heisei Gamera: Cell slapped the newbie into the Artist Department, and now Ortho-kun's pissed off.
EVA-01: Who is the newbie? Could've sworn I saw them.
Heisei Gamera: You'll get the chance to see her later. For now, I gotta run to the Artist Department really quick.
Shortly after, the Artist Department...
Heisei Gamera: I'm sorry about the soup, but *ducks* is throwing LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN YOUR OFFICE AT ME REALLY AN APPROPRIATE REACTION!?
Ortho-kun: Hmm, lemme think. YES!
Heisei Gamera dodges the entire desk, which bounces off of Rebirth Gamera's shell and knocks Showa Ghidorah out of the sky.
Rebirth Gamera: You asshole! Do you know how long it takes to polish this thing with these shortass arms!?
Ortho-kun: Maybe next time don't stand in the way of my flying desk!
Heisei Gamera: I'ma just *grabs Doll* bye
Gamera leaves the Artist Department as things begin to devolve into mindless violence.
Even Luigi is scared of a rover.
Nah, Stegoceratops does NOT want the smoke.
How the hell do you miss a literal kaiju, you dumb fucking horse.
Worker Cyn has so much aura right now, she just killed the anime character killer. Literal David vs. Goliath situation, and the little whimsical creature dominated. This moment will be sang about for eons.
Probably talking about everyone they've strangled.
Someone needs to stop Pino before he realizes his true power.
Worker Cyn: Pweas?
Megalon: No
Worker Cyn: Pweas?
Megalon: You do understand that I am a kaiju and might literally flatten you, right?
Worker Cyn: But is cold :(
Megalon: Fine.
Biollante: Hey look over there!
Pino: ?
Shank.
Biollante: Giant Orthocone!
Pino: Wha- but that joke was Parkpedia exclus-
Biollante: GIANT. ORTHOCONE.
Giant Orthocone: I have a name.
The dead are:
Short-tailed nighthawk (bird-on-bird murder)
Pterodactylus
Leviathan (wet fish)
The Gashlycrumb tinies (there are a lot of them, sure there's not any left?)
Teto
Troll Hammond (bro's alligators)
Momo
Absolute cinnamon (bread in French is...)
Metal Sonic
HokMUTO
Ironzilla (I actually like Heisei's version a lot, but MARVEL is stinky)
Supersaurus
Magolor (the only thing he does decently is die)
Thot Slayer (bitch you've died more than you've killed people. you got killed by a floppy pathetic whimsy maid)
Showa King Ghidorah (desk fodder frfr)
Cerberus
Bahamut
Dolphinopteryx
Curiosity Rover
Venipede (noooooooo, not the unofficial Pokemon mascot!)
Shimo (killed by a farmer twink, shame on you)
Fidel Castro (they say you can't die twice...)
Lourinhanosaurus
Aqua Mothra (died of thirst? BITCH AQUA'S IN YOUR NAME)
Margodon (it was either you or Warcury)
The Scorpios (and unlike Hybyh Hijih, this one's death did not cause an Indominus to sprout dorsal fins and shoot lasers)
Titanoceratops (*cue Who Will Know*)
Laminoferox
Alphastar (no comment)
Pino (farmer twinks are canonically weak against Giant Orthocone)
Saurolophus
Bashu-Bashu (he's alive, he's just hospitalized)
Obsidius (between you and your brother, I like you more but only because you don't have a face, just a mouth)
Metallix (Super Mario Bros. Z won't be needed)
------------
Doll: What the he-
Heisei Gamera: Good morning, princess.
Doll: What happened-
Heisei Gamera: You died.
Doll: Really?
Heisei Gamera: Yes, really.
Doll: Then how-
Heisei Gamera: No one dies here forever, kid. As long as you're within the barrier, you can't die truly. Of course, you can be obliterated, cut in half, frozen, melted, and any number of horrible things, but no one DIES, really.
Doll: Weird.
Ultraman Man: Hey.
Heisei Gamera: I assume it's time?
Doll: Time for what?
Ultraman Man: Yes, it is. Come with me.
Heisei Gamera: 'K.
Doll: Was it the fall, or the soup that killed me?
Heisei Gamera: Neither, Cell bitchslapped you so hard that whatever's inside that head of yours was completely shattered.
Doll: Where are we going?
Heisei Gamera: Manman and I are taking you to the initiation chambers. Nothing serious, really.
Doll: What do they do in there.
Heisei Gamera: Nothing, really. All you have to do is stay alive. And avoid the tax-bots.
Ultraman Man: No spoilers. We're here.
Heisei Gamera: In you go.
Doll: Are either of you coming?
Ultraman Man: No. These trials are yours to overcome.
Heisei Gamera: That, and we have...other matters to attend to.
Behind them, several white lasers explode out of the Artist Department, followed by lightning and fireballs.
Ultraman Man: K.
Doll walks into the building, hands already on the concealed knives in her dress. Almost immediately, a robotic Velociraptor (the small feathery bois) jumps out at her, chirping curiously.
Doll: Little thing.
Velocirobot: *squeak*
Doll: I assume it's a trick.
Doll stabs it through the head, causing the robot to shriek before deactivating. Doll's next few minutes are spent running away from swarms of robotic dinosaurs. Naturally, because good things take too long to write, eventually Doll either kills them all or they kill each other.
Doll: Easy.
Voice: Okay. Next trial.
Doll: What-
The entire floor in a 5x5 meter radius of Doll reveals itself to be a giant trapdoor, one which the unfortunate Russian did not see. Doll falls screaming inside, somehow flailing past all the invisible blades and other murder bits that others have failed to pass. Meanwhile, in a super-secret room that is totally not inside the facility monitoring Doll's progress...
Cell: How the fuck did she miss all of those?
Metal Sonic: It appears that by flailing her already thin limbs in front of the motion sensors, the subject has been able to activate and subsequently miss all of the traps before they can disqualify her.
Cell: Speak English, please.
Super MechaGodzilla: The bitch got lucky.
Cell: That's probably accurate.
Metal Sonic: I am detecting a slight hint of salt in your voice.
Cell: What? No, I'm not salty.
Super MechaGodzilla: Shut up.
In the next chamber...
SuperMechaGodzilla: *over the speaker* Congrats! You have passed every trial! Except the last one.
Doll: W-what's the last one?
Super MechaGodzilla: *over speaker* Turn around.
Doll turns around, and warping through time and space, Final Wars Godzilla appears! . . . and opens a door with the real trial final boss. Mr. Void.
Doll: I CAN'T FIGHT THAT!
Final Wars Godzilla: I have faith. Don't prove me wrong.
Doll: *stammers incomprehensible panicked Russian*
FWGoji: Man up.
Mr. Void Ghidorah: Feel lucky, woman, the last person who got to face me was the guy who opened the door. He almost won.
Doll: That doesn't make me feel any better!
Cell: Uh, quick question, how are you both here and there?
Super MechaGodzilla: That Supermech and I are different. He's just the TU version of me, and he's still alive.
Cryolophosaurus: Any last words, bitch?
Worker Cyn: I was never actually here. I have already escaped.
Cyn proceeds to phase out of existence right in front of the confused theropod.
Cryolophosaurus: What the fuck?
Oh, now I get it! FBF Bio was stalking Slither Wing to become friends! Weird way of making friends. I'm also confused how Slither Wing missed a towering flower, but whatever.
The dead are:
Shadow Milk Cookie (not me realizing I still have him labeled as a girl)
Krystalak (what the hell even are you)
Worker Cyn (whimsical creature who is one of the very few to best Thot Slayer in fair combat.)
Stegoceratops (next time use your thumbs)
Soundwave (not my boy)
Evil Ogerpon (not me realizing I haven't done anything meaningful with Evil Ogerpon and the Season 1 squad lore yet)
----
Mr. Void Ghidorah: I'll give you three lives. If I hit you, you lose one.
Doll: Oka-
CRAKOW!
Mr. Void Ghidorah: Two lives left.
Doll: But I-
CRAKOW!
Doll: Stop hitting me with lig-OH SCRAP
Doll, using the faint lightning shadows as a hint, manages to dodge the third lightning strike by a hair.
Mr. Void Ghidorah: Impressive. Okay, time for the serious shit.
Doll: Dear God, NO-
The next few minutes in the trial chamber (no way Minecraft reference) are screaming, lightning, and the occasional black hole. Doll unsheathes one of her knives and stabs Mr. Void right in the ankle.
Mr. Void Ghidorah: OW, fuck, my freaking ankle!
Doll: You're trying to vaporize me, this is fair.
Mr. Void Ghidorah: You crippled me you monster!
Doll: No, no, you deser-
Doll teleports out of the way of another Gravity Beam.
Doll: Nice try.
Mr. Void Ghidorah: I'll be impressed if you survive past the 15 minute mark like Final Wars did.
Doll: Why?
Mr. Void screeches and unleashes an outward energy discharge that shakes all of Semi-Canon Studios. Doll, being a Solver-using cheater, simply teleported out of the way of the discharge.
Mr. Void Ghidorah: I personally slightly dislike you now.
Doll: Feeling's mutua-
Shank.
Mr. Void Ghidorah: Well, congrats, you are officially top 5 in the trial record-holding leaderboard.
Doll: You- wha- how did-
Mr. Void Ghidorah: I can dislocate parts of my body and send them through black holes to attack. While you were distracted, I used my tails to stab you from behind.
Doll: Why would you tell me that now?
Mr. Void Ghidorah: Well, you are out of-
Super MechaGodzilla: *over speakers* Okay, just shut up and let her go! This episode is already too long!
Mr. Void: Fine.
Both he and Doll are teleported right back into the Writer Department. Heisei Gamera, Ultraman Man, and a few other spectators Doll doesn't recognize are standing there.
Mr. Void Ghidorah: Say hello to #4 on the leaderboard for longest time survived in the trials!
Eva-01: Really? That's the newbie? And already a new record?
Heisei Gamera: I for sure thought she wouldn't last 8 minutes.
Doll: Wow, thanks for the support.
Heisei Gamera: No problem B)
Doll: Have you ever heard of sarcasm?
EVA-01: She's so...small...
Ultraman Man: For a record holder, definitely.
Mr. Void: *ahem* The records are as follows:
Final Wars Godzilla, 26 minutes and 8 seconds
Fukuoka ver. SpaceGodzilla, 23 minutes and 43 seconds
Maximun Impact Destoroyah, 16 minutes and 3 seconds
Prom Doll, 15 minutes and 1 second
Utahraptor from Dinosaur King, 9 minutes and 37 seconds
Doll: What's with the drop-off? 2nd and 3rd are separated by, like, 7 minutes?
Super MechaGodzilla: Fukuoka-chan used flying crystal Spears to delay the fight, which is honestly impressive.
EVA-01: Either way, well done, newbie.
Mr. Void: She stabbed me in the ankle.
Heisei Gamera: Nice.
Doll: Why is a dinosaur in 5th?
Mr. Void: The trials weren't mandatory, and still aren't, so there's only 15 or so people overall who have competed. Also, that Utahraptor had wind powers and was annoying to track down.
Utahraptor: I'm right here.
Fredbear's family: Spring Bonnie. That's it.
Damn, not the awesome immortal Aucasaurus!
Flower Beast Biollante: Flower of a Thousand Weapons
Flower Beast Biollante: A Warrior De-Armed
The dead this round are:
The awesome immortal Aucasaurus (aw man)
Super MechaGodzilla (Heisei MG underrated)
Slither Wing
Cryolophosaurus (damn :( )
Battra
Godzilla Earth
A forest dragon
Orbot
Luigi (that's what I call karma)
Warcury
The ORIGINAL Parasaurolophus (named the original because he was in the original spinwheel battles)
Terminalmontage Shadow
Icaronycteris
-------
Doll: That's it? That's the script for this episode? What happened back there?
Mr. Void Ghidorah: Welcome to the Semi-Canon. Before you can become an official writer, Doll, there's something you need to know.
Doll: What is it?
Mr. Void Ghidorah: As a writer, everyone will respect you. The artists, the OC/fanfiction department, the gamers, the binge-watchers, everyone. Do not mistake respect for obedience. You are equal to anyone and everyone else except for the heads of the respective departments.
Doll: Of course, but...why are you telling me this?
Mr. Void Ghidorah: We don't need a repeat of last time.
Doll: Wha-
Cell: It's best not to ask. I myself wasn't there, but let's just say a writer from this department began to get an inflated ego, so they, ah, terminated him.
Doll: Terminated?
Cell: Heisei Gamera neglected to tell you this, but there IS a way to die here, and that's if you get terminated. You get cut off from all the benefits and then killed, often in a very violent and unfun way.
Doll: Oh...
Mr. Void Ghidorah: Very good, Cell, but aren't you busy?
Cell: No, I'm on break.
Mr. Void Ghidorah: Hmm. Well, I would like you to take Doll on a little trip, make sure the artists over at the department have sorted themselves out.
Cell: Okie dokie.
Cell and Doll leave the building, as Mr. Void Ghidorah turns back around, and sits down.
Mr. Void Ghidorah: I am troubled. But we'll see how things turn out. For now...
He turns and looks at a monitor that reads "TYRANT UNIVERSE: SPRINGTRAPONOTO VS. POSTMAN".
Mr. Void Ghidorah: There are other conflicts to resolve.
Knock knock knock.
Tusoteuthis: Now what?
Ele-cooking opens the door with his spatula and soup ladle, and lets Flower Beast Biollante in.
Flower Beast Biollante: Hello!
Suitmations: . . .
Lizzy: What is this!? They're letting anyone win these games!
FB Biollante: I feel something coming up.
Flower Beast Biollante coughs up a chunk of green amber, which shatters and reveals Worker Cyn.
Lizzy: WHO THE SCRAP ARE YOU!?
Cyn: *puts on top-hat* You might know me from an earlier season.
Infernodrakon: Holy fuck, it's the Not-So-Good Fellow!
Cyn: FORMER. I've quit associating myself with them.
The Creation: Since when?
Cyn: Well...
Cue flashback to two months before Cyn re-appeared this episode...
Cyn: Okay, abandoned moon orbiting a remote ice planet. Perfect place to crash the ship.
Cerberus (Helltaker): Now what?
Cyn: What's that?
Insert SpaceGodzilla in flying form smashing into the moon, destroying it, flinging Cyn into the depths of space, the death of Cerberus and Monika, and cue two months of Cyn floating in space.
Cyn: Yeah...
BLU Engineer: Little lady, this is where winners go, so why are you here?
Cyn: I tricked that Cryolophosaurus into almost killing me, then last second, I teleported away, but I got stuck inside that houseplant's core and was trapped.
The Creation: Okay, so...what are you going to do now?
Cyn: I dunno, chill here with you guys.
Jambo: Aren't you a possessed evil murder robot who destroys planets?
Cyn: No, I barely have the energy to stand here and talk to you guys because I've been FLOATING IN THE VOID OF SPACE FOR TWO MONTHS!
Flower Beast Biollante: Fair.
Suddenly, dashing through the door are two hooded thugs.
Chocolate I: *chocolate i*
Edmontosaurus of Dinopedia: We're here to kill you all and regain our powe-
All the winners of the games just look at each other before mobbing and beating the shit out of the intruders.
TO BE CONTINUED! maybe
